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I feel like no one cares
Hi.
So I used to have a good group of friends. But I don't really fit in with them now. I tried to get rid of them but just became a loner. Now I'm with them again, and they are the same way. They used to always ask me for advice and they still do. But when I am having big problems they just don't care! I'm very shy (I don't talk in a lot of classes), sarcastic, and a bit socially awkward because of my shyness, even though I am very kind. How can I make new friends and actually be happy at school?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I really like Dragonflymagic's advice to you. Taking it step by step will help.
There are so many people who aren't naturally outgoing and can't naturally draw people to them. Some people who are really outgoing had to work on it. I mean, it's hard to overcome insecurity with people looking at you, "what are they thinking about me?" "Are they looking at me?", things like that.
So start slowly, it won't happen over night.
In class, start asking people questions. Maybe it will spark up a new conversation.
During my freshman year in high school, the only friends I had were the ones from middle school. I hardly had any of them in my classes so I ended up having to make new friends.
I sat by new people, complimented them, if they had something I liked on their binder I'd start talking about it.
Last semester in college, I had met some girls who everybody knew and thought they were great. I realized why. Whenever these girls passed by, they would smile and they would compliment me. Just like what Dragonflymagic said. It really works.
So the way to make new friends is to overcome your shyness. Once you start working on that, you will be making new friends and will be a lot happier.
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I used to be so shy I wouldn't get up to use the pencil sharpener because I didn't want the other kids to stare at me. I refused to do book reports for fear of speaking in front of the class. So my grades would suffer. It took until I was about 16 before I decided I was sick and tired of being so shy. I didn't have the guts to just switch behavior and start talking so I prayed and asked God for help and here's the answers I got. It sure helped me and I know it will help you. You can skip any steps you already have mastered.
None of this involves using people you already know because you already have some comfort level there
1. Smile at strangers every day as you come across them. When you are comfortable with this move on to step 2
2. Smile and add saying hello to people you don't know. This is already harder because your mind will be going, "They're gonna think I'm nuts cus I am saying hi and they dont even know me." When you can do this without feeling shy, move to step 3
3. Smile and say hi to and then pay a compliment to another person you don't know. It could be telling the grocery clerk you love her necklace. Keep paying compliments to people until you can do so without being fearful of their reaction or simply the act of doing it.
4. Smile, say Hi, and start a conversation with a stranger. Here's an example. When I'd be at a clothing rack and another woman was there...no matter her age, I would make a comment to her about the clothing. I'd pulling off the rack something that looks absolutely hideous and showing it to her, "Look at this. Can you imagine people wanting to wear this. It would make them look like a......" Or "Even though I am small, I have a hard time finding things in my size, do you have the same problems? Keep trying like to get responses from a person. If they don't open up and start responding and sharing some of their story or thoughts then they are part of the 10 % of people who are hermit like and don't like being around people or talking to them. I took a class that taught about personality types and discovered that 90% of people are very friendly but will not start conversation first. If you can learn to start conversation first, in every situation, you will find that the majority of people respond in a very friendly way. They won't find the fact that you start talking too weird. Once they figure you're a naturally friendly person you will see them willingly respond back and share bits and pieces of information and such.
I was trying to pick ripe but not over ripe melon one time when an older woman was tapping and listening to the melons. I asked what she was doing and she explained that there is a certain sound it makes so I learned something. Later we bump into each other in another aisle, and I say, "Well Hello again!" Her response, "Hello again. Do you use coupons?" "Sometimes." "Do you buy this product," she shows me something in her cart, "Yes I do." "Well I happen to have a coupon for a great deal on it if you'd like," and without waiting for my response reaches into pocket and hands it to me. You'd be amazed at the conversation you could have with people and be able to share helpful info with them or vice versa. And sometimes in the conversing you may find people who you have some things in common with and you decide to keep in touch with and exchange cell numbers and /or get their name for facebook friending.
This should help you.
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Hi there,
Some people grows up while others remain immature for life. I have gone through some thing similar. The people i used to hang around werent nice to begin with but i am the kind of person that doesnt judge a book by its cover..so i gave them a chnce now i have achieved so much academically while they are stuck in a rot. and they only care to wear not nice clothes ( i am being polite here) and i realise well, part of me shouldnt have even hung out with them even though i have achieved alot its like wasting your time hanging around with people who are sarcastic, rude ..the list goes on.
so i would say be yourself, never stop being true to yourself you will have true friends who will appreciate you for you and be there for you in most ways you need and you for them.
Take care.
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