My boyfriend and I have been together for about there years. I love him but I don't feel like im sexually attracted to him. We can be having sex and he can turn me on but then when I look at his face it turns me off. Like his face looks so ugly up close and the way he kisses me turns me off really bad sometimes. Idk what to do. I want to be with him. Is there any way this could change? He often accuses me of cheating and now I've started having thoughts of cheating.I have never cheated on anyone before. I just want to see if anyone has been through this and if there is hope.
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? Manulo answered Saturday February 2 2013, 12:22 pm: Not sure who decided to give you that advice below about just ending it because that's not how relationships really work. You say that you want to be with him yet you are not attracted to him and he turns you on in bed but his face doesn't. Seems here that there is a bigger issue here that hascaused a rift between you two and even has him being insecure and causing you to have other thoughts. Sometimes honesty is the best answer before any action is taken. If you are honest about the way you feel and what your thoughts are then you can see if it is time to move on. Just don't make that hasty decision because there are times people just react and then live in regret. Tell him how you feel about everything and what is bothering you about him. If he reacts in a way that causes you to want to break up with him then so be it. But at least talk and see first before anything. Couples will go through their trials and tribulations but it's the ones that are willing to at least be honest and say things that will define whether or not they should stay or move on with each other. You can't say you want to be with someone yet find things unappealing about them without being honest and telling them how you feel to see if there is anything worth there or just a change needing to be made. Sometimes people do things right and wrong which makes us see them as appealing or unattractive. If you decide to break up and move on, make sure you have the right reasons and knowing that you don't want to be with him. As I said you can't say you want to be with someone and use reasons why you don't. It's either you do or either you don't but talking and being honest with what you feel will give you that clarity on what to do. [ Manulo's advice column | Ask Manulo A Question ]
kittenlover2000 answered Wednesday January 30 2013, 5:11 am: So you love him, but you're not in love with him.
This is very common and you should be proud of yourself for identifying this.
Alot of us have been there, myself included.
And what will happen if you 'put up' with him fore too long is that he'll notice your disinterest and will break the relationship up himself, exactly what happened to me.
I'm sorry to tell you when you've already been told by people giving advice below me, but its time to end the relationship. You're already having problems as it is.
Although he may be happy in the relationship, clearly you arn't as bhappy as you could be as you would be if you were with someone else. Why not go your seperate ways? Don't you deserve to be with someone you fancy rather than put up with (no offense intended) second best? Of course you do.
coolreina55 answered Tuesday January 29 2013, 10:29 pm: If you love him enough to stay with him, if he has things that you can change buy a product for him. Example: pimples you can use proactive. If not ( hate to ruin it ) break up. [ coolreina55's advice column | Ask coolreina55 A Question ]
secrettwinkie answered Tuesday January 29 2013, 8:12 pm: That happened to me with an ex-boyfriend.
When we firs started dating, I thought he was cute and sweet and I was pretty sexually attracted to him. After we hooked up a few times and some time passed, I found myself becoming more and more disgusted by him. He was a bad kisser, and while he wasn't ugly, I found aspects of his appearance to be revolting, even though they had never bothered me before.
I thought about cheating, too, and I constantly avoided seeing him in person or pretended to have my period all the time, so he wouldn't try anything intimate. After a few months, I broke up with him.
We tried to stay friends but it was awful, eventually we got back together but fought ALL the time, broke up a few months after that, and had a very strained and emotionally-draining friendship until we decided to stop speaking to each other. We talk now, but for several months we had no contact.
The last paragraph probably doesn't/won't apply to you, but that's my story. If he makes you feel icky, it means you're not in love any more. You can still love someone without being IN love with them.
I don't know if there's hope. My situation ended with a break up. You really only have two options; either become more physically attracted to him, or break up. If you can't become more attracted to him, why would you want to be together romantically with him? I understand that friendship may be difficult after such a long relationship, but it may be the best thing to do. [ secrettwinkie's advice column | Ask secrettwinkie A Question ]
Xui answered Tuesday January 29 2013, 5:25 pm: You fell out of love
If he accuses you cheating then that alone can damage a relstionship. Lack of trust caused you to become distant with him until you are ready ti go your seperate ways. Which you have been for some time now [ Xui's advice column | Ask Xui A Question ]
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