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I NEED HELP.
Im in this relationship with this guy that i've liked for a few years now. AT first he was only my bestfriend but then it got more when i told him i liked him. We went out once for about 3weeks and then i broke it off. About 2-3months later we got back together. Anyways its been a year now, and this guy, well he's the type of person that girls will be bestfriends with. Our relationship is great, and im crazy for this guy. Its just, i dont want to be. I hate that i care, and i hate that with him i get jealous. I dont want to care for anyone this much, this young. Ive tried not talking to him, ive tried ignoring him. Iv tried to tell myself, remind myself thats its only a crush. That it will end soon, but im lying to myself. But somehow, he always has me answering the phones, he has me waiting for his phones calls, i dont want to be tied down this young. But i cant help it. He just makes me smile everyday, he just makes life better. How do i STOP caring about this guy?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
The fact of the matter is that people are flawed and have insecurities. These seem to be your insecurities coming out. We all have them. Both men and women. The question you have to ask yourself is that can you see yourself waking up to this person the rest of your life? Does this person add or multiply to your life? Do they bring value or make you a better person? This is where you have to communicate with that person and tell them how you feel. Only the right person can help you with your flaws and insecurities because in turn you will help him with his own. Once you talk and see how he feels and what he says, it can help you move forward in the relationship or move on to someone who will fulfill your needs as you will theirs.
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You should start by asking yourself WHY you want to stop caring about him. If there's something about his personality thT turns you off or bothers you then you can try thinking about and focusing on those attributes.
But it sounds like your reasons for wanting to distance yourself from him are not external (things about him or his behavior) but internal (YOUR own personal motivations and feelings). If he is as amazing and makes you as happy as you say, then why not allow yourself to fall for him? If you are afraid of being tied down, what are you afraid of missing out on? Decide whether the happiness that he gives you is worth not having random hookups with other guys.
If you're afraid of falling too hard and getting hurt, well, that's the risk we take for love, but hopefully it's worth it. If you're falling too fast, try limiting your time that you spend with him or talking to him. Don't spend EVERY moment with him, or you could become codependent.
The important thing is that you listen to your heart. Good luck! I hope everything works out well for you.
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If you want to distance yourself then you need to set boundaries. Meaning, Talk to him once in awhile. I a.m not sure of your age but why can't you just be friends with this guy? Not caring about someone is not going to come overnight and ad long as you allow yourself to associate then you are making it harder on yourself.
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I know how you feel. But you cant just stop caring about someone overnight. Try taking things back to when you guys were best friends. focus on your life and be there for him when he needs you. There are alot things that you can get yourself into that could help you through this. You jsut gotta find out what it is. Just dont let go of the friendship you guys used to have. I really hope this helps and i hope you get through this in the best way.
Good Luck,
Manny
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