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He's selfish with sexual favors...
I have been dating a guy for awhile now and we recently started having sex. Everything is great in that regard except for one issue. He likes me to go down on him every time we have sex. I don't mind it and actually enjoy it, but I think every time is a little much because in my opinion, it will get boring and repetitive. On top of that, he does not go down on me. I don't believe that to be much of a problem since I've never really been into it, but I'd feel better if he'd at least offer. How do I navigate this touchy situation in a still new relationship? 25/f
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It's not a touchy situation. Well it is when you think about it. LOL. Actually communication is the right key. Sometimes even humor can bring a new element to a relationship as for example you can laugh about it by telling him something like: "If I'm having to play fetch with a stick then you are gonna have to make a journey to the jungle or island from below." I think anything being honest about how you feel and teling him that you want to try new things will even elevate it up even more. Don't be afraid to talk about things like that because that's a conversation guys don't mind having if there are newer and better ways to spice up your sex life. Keep things interesting and communicate on ways to enjoy it all even better because that's what helps relationships grow.
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The biggest thing in a relationship is communication. Sit down with him and talk to him about it, it may be awkward at first but if you can't talk about it then you probably aren't going to last. Ask him if there is anything that he wants that you're not doing, and then let him know that you would like to try some different things, such as you receiving oral or 69. Also if you're worried about a blowjob becoming boring it probably never will, men aren't usually that hard to please when it comes to oral but there are many many things you can find on the Internet about it or buy a Cosmo magazine every month. They always have loads of tips about spicing up your sex life and ways to communicate with your lover.
Hope I helped :)
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Ok, I'm going to speak to you woman to woman, so anyone who can't deal with that, just stop reading now.
Think of something spicy and new you'd like to try with him, and next time when he starts expecting the same old thing, give him a big horny grin and tell him "I thought we'd try something a little different tonight..."
What is something you'd really like to try? Don't be bashful, just do it. Unless its giving him lashings with a belt, he'll be 100% down for anything you want to do.
He probably feels things are just as boring and repetitive as you do! He just might not have an imagination to mix things up. You have to use yours and come up with something that will drive you wild to do. If it will drive you wild, it will do the same for him.
And don't forget, you could always wear lingerie, turn on some grooving music, and dance around for him. Follow it up by giving him a lap dance rather than going down on him. I bet he'd LOVE that!
You can also get yourself a sexy costume and introduce roll play into the bedroom now and then to keep things from getting too boring. Perhaps you could be a naughty cop, and handcuff him to the bed with some fuzzy cuffs? That is just one of a ton of costumes out there. Go to an adult store or website and browse the costume section until you find one that you would feel best wearing.
I don't know, maybe you think that sounds silly or embarrassing to do, but give the ideas a chance. Doing stuff like that changes up not only the every day repetition, but also routine, positions, places, etc. and its really fun to do.
And nothing makes you feel more attractive and desired than putting on some lingerie or a costume and totally rocking his world.
Doing stuff like this will get a different response out of him, and he will react to you differently. Of course he's going to give you some attention while you give him a lap dance. If he doesn't put his hands where you want them, you take his hands, suckle one finger a little, kiss another, and place them in the right spot. You're in charge at this point!
Gently lead him into doing what you want him to do for you. Especially when you are the one in charge. Make sense?
AND as an added bonus, you get to avoid navigating the touchy situation in your still new relationship.
Unless, of course, you'd rather talk to him about it now. In that case I was probably not very helpful.
P.S.
I'm not some sort of perv or anything. I'm just a married woman who sometimes has to spice up boring and repetitive, myself. Such is life! ;-)
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Perhaps he doesn't know what he's doing when it comes to returning the favor or has some kind of hangup about it or female genitals. If you can rule that out than I would talk to him.
You could ask him nicely if he has ever done that type of sexual activity with a girl or if he was embarrassed or had a negative experience in the past.
Tell him it's something you really enjoy but not all the time and would love to be surprised now and again with it. This way it doesn't come off as accusatory or putting down his efforts.
You can tell him things you want to try from positions to whatever else and make this a talk about ways to always make things different and change it up. I think he will be open to it then.
As far as you always doing this act for him tell him you enjoy it but like him doing it for you that you don't want do it each time so that it's always fresh and exciting for you both if it just suddenly happens in the moment. That's one way to take an upbeat approach.
But yes, as far as I'm concerned he should be reciprocating but I think he's got a hangup or lack of or no experience with it. I bet that's why he's never initiated it. Probably not a selfishness thing but you know him better...
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