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scared of sex ?
me & my boyfriend been togather for almost a year , i realy love him . im suppr compfortable with him . he wants to hae sex. and im nervous about it .
idk why . maybe i feel to young(im not 13 or anything) ? or my parents will find out . or it will hurt . and im super scared of getting pregnate . but forsure we will use protection and hes not presuuring me ? i make the descison that i will do it , but thenwhen we r alone i chicken out . what should i do ?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Women's code is if you are unsure about a sexual activity of any type, follow your intuition, it never fails, just don't do it, and wait for when it becomes sweet and natural feeling to where it will just bring you happiness...and let me tell you there are way to many ways to protect yourself, so don't worry about pregnancy with the type of protections now in days, all you gotta do is work hard to get pregnant.
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When we have a fear of doing something this is our internal alarm system kicking in telling us this may be harmful or is wrong.
Your internal warning system is telling you that you are just not ready yet and this is fine. Each of us mature at different rates and when we reach the point in our maturity that we are ready for sex then our alarm system stays silent. This point could come when your 18 or when your 21 it depends on a lot of different factors. When your ready for sex you will know it. Until then listen to your body. Their is nothing wrong with waiting.
I am going to supply a link to a website that will answer a lot of questions for you about are you ready for your first sex. I suggest you read it along with your boyfriend so he too will know what he needs to do to help you when you are ready.
Sex for a male is mostly a mechanical function once he has an erection, which for teenage males takes little to no stimulation. For a female it is a lot more complicated then that and it needs to be for she is the one that can be come pregnant.
Other than not being 13 you do not say how old you are. Whatever your age there is nothing wrong in waiting until you are truly ready. Their are other ways to show your boyfriend you love him and other ways for the two of you to relieve your sexual tension.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location).
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It's your gut that's stopping you and believe me it's a pretty good thing. He may well be the right person and you trust and love him but the timing just isn't yet.
Right now you're very fearful about the first time and that's completely normal. Becoming pregnant is indeed a big deal and not for you right now. As long as you use condoms and invest in another kind of birth-control on-top the risk if both are used correctly is remote.
As far as parents finding out perhaps the best thing to do is be honest. They won't like your decision to have sex (none will) but if you ask for birth-control and show them a desire to be safe each time it's better than you doing it, maybe being pregnant (if not careful) or being caught.
Being a male I'm at a disadvantage to tell you if it hurts for a female first time. I'm aware of discomfort, friction etc. but as to anything else hopefully a female advice giver will tell you but it's a different story for each person.
I think what you should do is WAIT for now. Get more information on it and read up on what scares you about it still. I also suggest talking to an older female in confidence or a doctor, counselor (they can't tell your folks) and talk about it and your concerns before doing anything physical.
If your boyfriend loves you he will understand that things will happen but once you are comfortable. Talking to an older female who isn't your mother be it as sister, aunt, counselor, relative, friend's mom whomever about this is a good idea or tell your folks you are planning on becoming sexually active but want to be safe.
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I totally understand what you're going through.
Sometimes, you have to just conquer your fears and go for it. You've been with him for a while, so you know that he is dedicated and committed to you, so that's always a big relaxer, but what you need to do is sit down with your boyfriend and have a legit, serious, long talk about why you're afraid to have sex. Don't hold back. It'll make you feel 100 times better if you let him know about EVERYTHING. Tell him you're scared it will hurt, if you want to stop he will, you're scared of the consequences that could occur like pregnancy and your plan, god forbid, if it does happen. Talk to him about how you feel ready but you chicken out, and m sure he will ease your mind. Communication will definitely help you a lot. But also do some research on sex and people's first times ... Even though everyone is different, it's the unknown that scares us the most, so knowing other people's stories kinda helps. But talking to him will most def help :) even if you have, keep talking so you can reassure yourself and then you'll be more likely to go through with it.
Good luck ! xxo.
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