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To be a slut, or not to be....
Alright, here is the deal, I am 17 going on 18. I am a single, female senior in High School. I decided to have sex when I was 16, I was peer pressured into it, and after that I told myself I would never do it again. Well, teenage hormones started pumping, so I called a friend, we hooked up twice. Then I ended up getting a boyfriend not to long afterwards, and about 3ish weeks into our relationship, I slept with him, well My Aunt and Uncle found out about this encounter, and I never told them, I didn't want to tell them, anyway, my uncle disowned me and every chance he gets he calls me a slut, and told me I don't deserve to live anymore. He doesn't want me around his children anymore because I am a "stupid cunt" IDK what to do ): I need help.... He won't let me move out until I am 18 and that's in 7 months, I don't think I can handle this verbal abuse...
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none deserves to be called names no matter what he needs to get over hiself you just need to make adult discussions not discussions that will cause you problems later in life
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This seems a particularly violent reaction by your uncle, wholly out of proportion with the event in question. I would think that some 'demon' in his own mind is at the root rather than simply your actions, and any sort of counselling would only be of benefit if HE would agree to it. Which is unlikely. I can't add a lot to the answers you have already, this form of emotional/mental brutality is NOT acceptable in any way, guardian or not and teachers etc might be your first port of call. I can only think of one aspect not covered. How long is it since it happened? I only ask because such irrational and violent emotional outbursts are quite often reasonably short-lived, and almost impossible to sustain. The situation may calm down in a little while. Either way it's essential to shut yourself off to the negative nature of his remarks. They're more about him than you. You've done nothing immoral, unethical or illegal here, I assure you. Finally...would you say he was, in your opinion a fair, reasonable and open minded man before this? Did you like him? Did you respect his opinions and judgement previously? Answering these questions might be quite enlightening for you. Positive answers might suggest good hope of him calming down. Negative answers? Despise him, ignore him, use him for now because it's convenient and leave when you're ready. Best wishes.
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First: To my mind, and I am a very liberal minded person, there is no such thing as a slut. It is a word that is used only to demean a person. I don't like the word and I never use the word.
In my day there were good girls and bad girls. Good girls were assumed to be virgins. Bad girls were assumed to be girls that were not virgins. Even then the term bad girl was no right. The word slut seems to be more in vogue today for no real reason. Ignore it as it has no real definition.
Now as to your family situation. It is unfortunate that your Uncle has chosen to abuse you in this manner. Yes, abuse is the right word. You do not have to be physically harmed to be abused. There is such a thing as mental abuse and this is what your Aunt and Uncle are making you suffer.
Depending on the state you live in you may have the right to consent. Meaning the state recognizes your right to have sex and some other things. If you happen to live in a state where the age of consent is 17 your Uncle is being very wrong on personal grounds as you are only exercising your rights under the law. He may not like it but he can learn to live with.
Even though you may have obtained the age of consent, you are still a minor, this is why you cannot leave his home, with or without his consent. For if he and your Aunt are your legal guardians they are responsible for you until you reach age 18.
This also mean he has no right to abuse you in this manner. He is committing child abuse, mental abuse is still abuse. Now what can you do about this.
You have not said why you are leaving with your Aunt and Uncle. If they are your guardians and their guardianship is overseen by child welfare you should speak to your case worker. If your guardianship is not overseen by child welfare then you can do one of the following.
You should or could tell a trusted teacher about what is going on at home. Under the law there are rules the teacher must follow, in most every state, when notified by a student of abuse. If you do not want to talk to a teacher than tell your school principal. They too are required to follow the same rules.
Most importantly though is to remember you are only a slut if you believe yourself to be one. As I said I don't like the word and I don't believe in the word or have I ever used it. Remember the old saying. "Sticks and stones may break my bones but names hurt." Don't let the name hurt you for the name does not really exist.
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That's not right for your own uncle to call you that. Yeah it's not nice, but it's not RIGHT. Once he calls you that again, just tell him to shut up. It seems mean, but he should get the vibe that you don't want to be called that again. If he has the right to call you a .... then you have a right to tell him to shut up.
Good luck,
Bella xoxo
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