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I am ashamed that I haven't had sex yet.
Is it stupid for me to be irritated with myself that i still haven't lost my virginity at 18? I've only had one boyfriend, 2 years ago..And I'm slightly ashamed of that..not about not having sex yet, but It's irritating to me because I want to lose my virginity. Not just to some random guy, I want to find a guy and be in a relationship with him and have sex with him..I know it's not something you're just suppose to give away, but I've been wanting to have sex for suchhh a long time. It's like i'm sexually frustrated even though i've never done it before. I feel like masturbation is definitely not cutting it, or not getting the job done i should say. thats probably tmi but yeah...idk what im asking really. just want some advice.
-18 female
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Virginity?
Is your vagina regularly examined by other to confirm if you are a virgin or not? If no, there's nothing to be ashamed of. If you want to get rid of the itch and go ahead and have sex. but dont trap a poor guy and have sex with him and tell him its love. BTW i'm a catholic guy who didnt lose his virginity till my early twenties. I had really rigid and orthodox catholic parents
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You should not be ashamed I feel it's a good thing especially now in days! Sounds like you don't like waiting trust me I don't either I think now one does but your time will come and when it does it will probly be something you won't regret. I hope so. There's a lot of people out there! Your not the only one! Including me!
Hope I help(:
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I'm going to play the part of the grandfather that I actually am.
There is a saying that everything has its time and place. This saying goes along with the saying that says if its meant to be it will happen.
Okay enough with the old sayings. I like the idea that you just don't want to give your virginity away to the first guy that comes along and kisses you. That is not what sex is all about. The loosing of ones virginity, especially for a women, should be something special. It should be with a man who will be loving, kind and gentle. Who will provide a place that you are comfortable and feel safe and secure.
The fact that you have only had one boyfriend is not all that unusual especially if you have been concentrating on your school work and other activities. Smart, active and very attractive girls find it harder to attract boys than girls how are average students, less active in activities and of average looks. Boys feel the girls in the first example are either out of their league or are all ready attached to someone.
Hopefully you will be going off to college. In college things will be different. You will have the opportunity to meet more mature boys/men. The college campus is much different than high school. Their are many different ways to meet people and still be studious, starting with different study groups. Then branching out to different clubs and activities of interest to you where you will find people with similar interest.
It is easier to and make friends with someone when you have some common ground from which to have a conversation and get to know one another. In high school all boys were and are interested in is sex.
Which according to a recent survey seems to be more talk than participation. The survey found that the average age for a girl to loose her virginity has risen from and average age of 15.5 years of age to just about 17 years of age. So being 18 and a virgin does not make you all that different then many of your peers.
If you are not going on to College, which I hope is not the case, you still have many ways to meet boys/men. Sit down with pen and paper and make a list of everything you enjoy doing. Start with if necessary "A" and go to Z." Include Church and Religious activities if that is something you like to do. When you have your list number them from 1 to as many as you have in order of how much you care for the activity. Then start with the first 5 and look for clubs and activities in your area and attend some events. Many clubs will allow you to attend a number of meetings before requiring you to join.
This really works. I suggested it to my son who is a firefighter. He works 24 hour shifts plus he has a part-time job as he is also a paramedic. His greatest love after firefighting is hunting, shooting and camping. He joined a gun club. He met a lovely girl there. It turns out she is a police officer. So they have more than just the gun club and camping in common. They understand the stress of seeing the world from a viewpoint that no one should ever have to see. Is this a match made in heaven. We we are waiting to see but it could be.
While she is cute as a button, okay I said I was old, they have more than sexual attraction going for them. This is the foundation that relationships are built on. I'm sure you have heard that beauty is only skin deep. Its true; one morning you wake up and you actually have to talk to each other. This is when you find out you have nothing in common than a sex life and the relationship wanes.
So the short answer to your question is: You have nothing to be embarrassed about by being a virgin at 18; as I offered in the results of that survey. There is also nothing wrong on not having a boyfriend if other thing got in the way such as school work or caring for a parent or younger sibling. That's part of family responsibility. Last but not least you feelings of not running off and just giving up your virginity to the first guy that comes along is the right thought. Don;t give in to your feelings of sexual frustrations. When the time, place an most importantly the person is right. Loosing your virginity will be very special for you and that is what it is suppose to be.
This has been rather long and has been more of a pep talk then an answer. But I hope I have helped.
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This is perfectly normal, and admirable! A lot people are like rabbits: doing it like crazy for the heck of it. It takes something very special to control yourself.
Now, if you are looking for a boyfriend with whom you can share your life, then there are a couple things you can do:
1. Go out and meet new people. Go out with friends, take up hobbies you enjoy, generally socialize etc, etc. You will find people you have something in common with, and that's a great basis to a relationship.
2. Ask friends if they know anyone that is single, and whether they'd be interested in going out.
Don't appear to be a sex starved maniac. You want to get to know the person as a human being first. Then, when you are both ready, you can take it to the next step.
Good luck!
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You r very lucky to b a virgin in this day and age.
The ones who gave it up to anybody or the wrong person regret it.You shouldn't let society dictate ur virtue,I wish I waited for the right one but I didn't. But the guy I'm with now is my husband and sex is the greatest when you love someone. You should keep it until you find that someone special and then give ur mind, body, and soul over to them.Ur very blessed to have this special gift that will be unwrapped by that special person.
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