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my mom called me a bitch


Question Posted Tuesday August 28 2012, 1:01 am

Since the begging me and my mother's relationship has been special. She is like my bestfriend, my other half. I love her so much. We sometimes argue, like most mother and daughters. Today was different, she called me a bitch. Twice. I was shocked, surprised, hurt. It has been replaying in my mind over and over. I never thought she would ever say that to me. The argument was bad, we were both yelling, but I never once called her a name. I am hurt and upset. I have not talked to her and I don't plan on it. I'm just hurt and it has affected me a lot. What do I do? I don't feel like talking to her. She said hurtful things. I just wanna leave the house and never return.

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solidadvice4teens answered Tuesday August 28 2012, 9:48 pm:
When people argue they will say ANYTHING in the heat of the moment from cursing at people or using vulgar terms or words. It really doesn't mean anything outside of the argument more often than not.

I highly doubt she thinks you are a bitch by any means but just lost it in that instance and to be honest and not mean here you probably really pushed her for it to be used. Doesn't make it right of her but you can be sure she doesn't view you as that.

Let's look at the facts you have such a tight relationship and until now this kind of thing hasn't happened nor do you see reason for it in the future or that she really thinks this of you. The opposite is true so it all points to mom being really pissed at that time and using the wrong word to make it hurt at the time.

What you need to do is TALK to her calmly, no yelling, none of that and explain "I know I really pissed you off but was shocked at what you called me and would like to know why and make sure you don't really feel this way about me." I'm sure she will make amends for it and remember not to use it again.

As far as leaving and not returning goes have you thought of where you would go or have plans? Of course you don't. You shouldn't leave as that would be stupid and believe me all of this really will and does blow over. You just need to talk and hug it out. That's all

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adviceman49 answered Tuesday August 28 2012, 11:48 am:
Being a parent and grandparent I am reasonably certain mom is just as upset with herself as you are with her over what she has said. The problem is that once said it can never be taken back and now she is trying to figure out the proper way to undo or apologize for the hurtful words.

I'm sure you realize that there are times we all have bad days. Maybe this was a day that mom was having a bad day and whatever you two were fighting over was the proverbial straw that pushed her over the edge.

We all argue over something at some point in our lives so I feel it was not the argument itself that caused mom to say what she said. In fact I'm also reasonably certain mom was horrified with herself once the words left her mouth. This could have even escalated the argument you were having. I know it sounds unreasonable but it does happen.

I don't have a date stamp as to when today was. If it is today Tuesday then you should wait and give mom time to settle down and come to terms with herself as to what she said and see if she comes to you,. If today was yesterday, Monday, then maybe you need to calm done and reflect on the argument,what it was over and what you may have said to caused mom to use the "B" word.

If in reflection you find that mom was really stressed out at the time and what you were arguing over was ill timed and or in any way being stubborn or possibly ungrateful. Then you may need to consider apologizing to mom.

Since you did not relate any of the argument, your side and moms, this is the only advise I can make at this time. If you would like to provide more information. I will be happy to try and be an arbitrator for you to see if there may be some compromise here so that you and mom can return to being best friends again.

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