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He's a liar, stalks my twitter and I don't want to be friends anymore


Question Posted Friday August 17 2012, 10:45 am

So I know this guy I used be good friends with. We met in last year of college. However my relation was with him was more academical. We used study together in library. During this period he started developing feelings towards me. I never saw him more than a friend. So one day he texted saying he loves me and wants to be more than friends and I told him I dont feel the same way. Scared about our friendship he made up a huge lie that he didnt text me, his phone got stolen and a person who stole the phone texted me. I clearly knew he was lying. I told him many times to tell the truth and assured it wont harm our friendship but he didnt and finally when I stopped receiving/replying his call /texts he confessed and begged to forgive him. I did forgive him but I cant forget what he did to me. I hate it when someone lie to me I hate it even more when they are worse at it like you're insulting me by thinking i'm dumb enough to believe you. This happened two yrs ago. After that we never saw or tried to contact each other but now few months ago he has found my twitter account.However he doesn't know I know abt this. He keeps stalking me there and everytime sees me talking to a guy get really jealous and start msging and calling that he wants to be my friend again. I get atleast 50 calls/msgs a day. He is so insecure and its really really annoying. He's forcing himself into my life. I dont want to go back to being friends again. I get repissed when I think about what he did to me. He's not ready to move on. I dont know how to handle this situation.:/ Help.

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WittyUsernameHere answered Monday September 3 2012, 10:28 pm:
Lies borne of insecurity... honestly I don't see what he did as that big a deal, certainly not worth being mad about two years later.

That said, he's obviously intruding where he isn't wanted. Twitter accounts are a dime a dozen. Tell him to stop calling and texting then drop the twitter account or block him or something and change your phone number. Whether or not he's ready to move on doesn't mean you have to be bothered with it at this point, just take steps to remove his ability to contact you.

If necessary, start keeping records of his contact and consider filing a restraining order if he doesn't stop. Tell him you are doing this and that you are done being his friend and that he needs to move on on his own.

Honestly this situation is not that complicated. It's not your job to put up with him for any reason, I think you should get over being mad at him but that doesn't mean you have the slightest responsibility to tolerate his current behavior, personally I'd be more pissed off about the recent bullshit than I ever would have been about the lie. Stalking is fucking creepy and not to be tolerated, even online.

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Rena-Chan answered Wednesday August 29 2012, 8:16 am:
Everyone lies, whether it's big or small, everyone has lied. Besides, he lied two years ago, I think it's time to forgive and forget. If you are not interested in him, tell him so. Explain to him that he makes you uncomfortable with his actions, and tell him that you know about him watching you, and that you do not appreciate it. Even if he is not ready to move on, you may have to ensure he does. Change your phone number, block his accounts on yours. I don't know much about twitter, but I assume if it's like many other accounts, you have the option to block unwanted viewers. If it becomes a scary situation, such as him physically stalking you, get the police involved. But the best thing to do, is tell him you are not interested in being with him, nor are you interested in being his friend if he can't accept that you don't want to be his girlfriend etc.

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orphans answered Tuesday August 28 2012, 2:30 pm:
Hello,

Well you're really stuck here. You've already tried ignoring him, which is often the best thing to do.

What you need to do? Tell him one more time. One last time. Just explain how you feel, and that you don't appreciate being harassed. Remain calm, but use strong, obvious language. Don't sugar coat it. But don't be nasty. Explain the problem. Explain everything that he has done wrong.

If this still fails, then you have no option but to tell someone about it. Are you of school age? Do you go to school together? Is there a teacher, principle, etc you can tell?

Or tell your parents. But if not, then the police may be the only option. If you believe that he is actually harassing you, then you have a cause of action. But this must be a last resort.

Regarding twitter, you can block him. Or generally just change your privacy settings.

Good luck! Let me know how it goes? :)

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solidadvice4teens answered Saturday August 18 2012, 10:29 pm:
There's a few things going on here. The first is that he's socially inept and pushes too much with people. He genuinely likes you but has gone around it all wrong and pissed you off which is the total opposite of what he desired to do.

Like most people caught in a lie he created another one to try and protect his ass and keep you as a friend. He needs you more than you need him and likely hasn't got anyone else.

You need to tell him ONE last time in writing be it e-mail or Facebook that you don't like his lying and that it's obsessive to message people 50 times a day no matter the situation and that you don't want to be friends or anything else to him and to please cease and desist immediately or you will tell adults that will deal with harassment.

You can't stop him from logging on to Twitter but you can make it so that your tweets are private and open only to friends and followers. That effectively stops him from wanting to visit the URL. With Facebook just unfriend him and block him.

I really think you should tell your parents and teacher or guidance counselor that he's driving you nuts and want it stopped. Adults will know what to do and you're doing nothing wrong by telling someone that a fellow student is creeping you out and harassing you online and off with unwanted messages and phone calls. They'll scare him off for good.

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