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should i give him another chance?
My boyfriend cheated on me several times, i forgave him, i got pregnant and he asked me to abort saying that we are not ready, i refused and he broke up with me.he went back dating one of the girls he was 2 timing me with.later on he said that he can't be with me but that he will be there for the child eventhough he can't provide financially. I was devastated, depressed, and so hurt. i didn't know what to do and i didn't want the child to suffer, so out of fustration i had an abortion, but i told my him that i had a misscaraige. he felt for me and asked me back out again. i accepeted and we started dating later to find out that he was still involve with other women. i broke up with him and ever since now we have being on and off. he says he loves me, that am the love of his life and that we should be exclusive. recently i discovered that he is still involve with one girl and is chasing after other gilrs. i confronted him and he told me that he will set things straight with other girls an let them know that the past is the past and that he wants to concentrate on his future which is me. i don't know what to do,i love him so much,but i can't trust him,i have tried several to move on but its hard, i feel miserable without him. should i give him another chance?i am 23 and i want to be in a stable relationship with someone that i love so that i might end up marrying the person and carrying his childreen. A part of me wants to be in a relationship with him again, but the other part is afraid of getting hurt again. what can i do?
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Here's exactly what's going on: You're easy. You have such bad self esteem that the guy knows he can come back anytime he wants and get his rocks off with you because you don't think you are attractive enough to get someone else.
Or you have such a neurotic sense of competition with other women that you think you can somehow, someday tame him and keep him when others couldn't.
Look, usually, when women complain about guys like him it is merely because they want to vent and don't want others to solve their problems for them. So you're probably wasting our time and won't implement any of the proposed solutions here because that is how women operate. So you can either do the sensible thing (86 the guy out of your life) or you can continue to be a rent-a-vagina. Your call.
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If you really want a stable relationship, then you need to get off this rollercoaster. Tell him you are done and go on with your life. You're still young and you still have time to find another guy. But this boyfriend you have now either needs to change or he needs to go and I doubt that he will change.
If someone frustrates you enough to the point where you get an abortion, then there's a problem. This relationship needs to be over! Tell him you're getting off the rollercoaster TODAY!
~Andrew~
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You shouldn't give him another chance. You deserve someone who actually loves you. He's cheated on you so many times. You can't trust the guy. He lies right to your face and tells you that you're the only girl for him but he's still hooking up with other girls.
Even if he stops with all this stuff now, later on, he'll start doing it again. It's what he does and so far, he hasn't proved to you at all that he can be trusted.
Find someone better and show him what he missed out on. You need to respect yourself because he just keeps breaking your heart.
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Another chance? Absolutely not
This man cheated on you, Lied and led you on. Also, From the sound of how you worded it, Sounds like he was inconsiderate of your feelings when he found out you were pregnant. This man didn't feel sympathy for you if you had a miscarriage by asking you out again. (I am deeply sorry you lost the child my condolences go out too you) but on his behalf he looked at it as he doesn't have to take responsibility anymore so he can just crawl back too you and date you.
Listen hun, When you refused to abort the child, He left you high and dry and dated someone else. When he found out that you had a miscarriage, He crawled back to you? That is 100% wrong!
This guy has proved he is nothing but an asshole on more then one occasion. You do not need him, You need to cut ties with him and focus on you. This man has hurt you once, He'll do it again as long as you allow him to hurt you. Also, You are miserable without him but you will be downright miserable with him as he is nothing but baggage and he will bring you down.
You owe it too yourself to find someone better, Go and be happy in your life and leave the toxic people behind. This man not only originally left you, He left your child also.
You are way better then that, Don't let some ass take advantage of that.
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He cheated on you so many times you have to honestly ask your self these questions. . . Is he worth my tears? Do i want to keep this unhealthy relationship going? Should i destroy my happiness and trust in guys because of this one person? You will feel that you can't trust guys because of this one boy.
My friend is in this situation with her ex now too. Im going to tell you the same thing i told her. You two are traveling in different places. Your trying to be an adult and grow up while he's using you. Honestly he is because he realizes that your going to keep taking him back no matter what. He's going to mess with other girls and tell you what you want to hear because he knows that will draw you back to him. You have to be strong and as much as it's going to hurt you have to let him go and destroy his life on his own without bringing you down.
You don't deserve that type of man in your life. You deserve someone whose going to be honest with you love you care for you always be there for you and someone who wont two-times you and who puts you first. He's a jerk who still has to get over his teenage years. Your a woman who has to move on from her teenage boyfriend. Trust me your heart will start to heal again and once that happens you will be able to open it back up to someone you really trust and care for and someone who will do the same for you. Then you will be all smiles with your marriage and children. Trust in what your heart and head tells you but also what your conscience says too because that is God's way of leading you down the correct and safe path of happiness.
Hope i helped you out :)
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As a female, I know that is doesn't matter what we say, you will do the complete opposite. You want to hear 'give him another chance'.
Once a cheater, always a cheater. Only way a man will stay faithful to a girl, is IF he wants to. This guy clearly does not want to be committed to one girl.
I mean, in a situation like this, there is one word to call you, and that is foolish. Your relationship with him will never be the way it's suppose to be because you both are lying. You lied about the miscarriage. Did it ever click that he ONLY got back with you because he felt SORRY for you? He doens't love you. A real man who loves you, will change and stop hurting and mistreating you.
Stop taking his bullshit, and find someone else. Every girl deserves a MAN, not a BOY. You deserve a man who will be committed to you, and only you. A man who will love you like there is no tomorrow. If you want a stable, committed relationship, and a family in the future; than this guy isn't for you. This guy DOES NOT know what he wants; So what you're miserable without him? Time heals all. You're going to be MORE miserable with him, knowing that you aren't the ONLY girl he's messing with. This boy doesn't not know what love is. He doesn't have the slightest clue. He's immature, and isn't ready for what you are willing to give him.
He needs time to grow up. Leave him alone. Sure, it'll be hard, but hunnie- whats worse? Conviencing yourself that he will change, only to let him have the opportunity to let you down; or going through heartbreak for a couple months, and than finding that person you can give you everything this deadbeat couldn't?? NOw, if he truely loves you, than he will come back when he is ready to give you the committment you are looking for. Chances? Slim to none.
This guy is telling you the things you want to hear, to keep you hanging on. He knows your naive, and he knows he can run all over you. You're going to let that BOY have that much CONTROL over you and your feelings?
A relationship is nothing without trust. Sure, trust can be gained, but it's easier to destroy it, than it is to build it.
Trust me on this one- the time you're wasting on this guy, could be spent on a decent guy who is worth it.
No more chances for him. Find what you deserve. Let go of his excuses, his bullshit, and his lies; and start have respect for yourself.
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