|
leave him? stay with him? or get revenge?
I been dating this guy for 5 months and im completly in love with him!! He has been by myside trough everything when j went to a mental.hospital he was there for.me when.i was sad and.crying.he would hold me and well hes my bff and even tough we have huge problems because hes 19 & im 15 my social worker told me that if.he comes at night and.sneaks into my room he would get a restraining.order against me and i know.my parents dont like him much because they believe it was his fault & blah blah blha well the point is that we been falling apart lately so he asked me to have an open relationship meaning that he can flirt and kiss other females.. when.he.told me that my heart broke in million of pieces and i started crying like hell it hurts a lot. His reasons for asking.for.an.open.realtionship was that we couldn't see each other that much Bcuz we live 30 minutes away and im never with him when.he needs me and that there was no point of staying faithfull if.i wasnt near him.. But now.Idk what.to do?!!!!! Should i stay with him and haven an open relationship? And.wait till i get a car and wait.till its only us again? Or be done with him? Or be in an open relationship and get revenge??!! Meaning by showing.him that i can be with as.many as guys as he.can be with girls.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Revenge will only make things worse. If you are really uncomfortable with an open relationship, tell him. If he really and honestly cares for you, he would understand and wait for you to heal and be ready for him. To be honest, you are too young to understand the complexities of true love. I know how you feel: I was in a similar relationship when I was 13, and was dating a 17 year old. I thought I was in love, but it turned out he was cheating on me because I wouldn't give him what he wanted. So my advice to you is to just tell him truth. If he storms out and never speaks to you again, well, it will hurt, but it really means that he is not worth your awesomeness!
Good Luck!
RosiePosie12321
]
Okay this is the part you don't want to hear. It is legal stuff though you need to hear it as it will make what you should do easier to do.
There is a four year difference in age between you, which you I'm sure are aware of. What you may not be aware of is the fact that because he is 19 and an adult his relationship with you is illegal. It is called statutory rape. Now it is rape regardless of the fact whether you two have had sex or not. The reason is you are, in most, states under the age of consent. Meaning under the law you can not agree to have sex. It is statutory rape because he is an adult and you are a minor. This is why the hospital threatened to get a restraining order against him.
I think it was nice of him to be there for you when you needed him and to help you recover. Now what I hear him saying, in what you wrote that he said is. He wants more from a relationship then you and he can have. In a very polite way he is saying to you it is time we met and dated other people. It is a very polite way of dumping someone, especially some one as young as you who may miss the delicacy of what he is saying.
My advise is to thank him for being there when you needed him. Tell him you are aware that staying together now is legally dangerous for him and that as much as you will miss him it is best you go your separate ways for know. You can add if you wish that; hopefully in 2 years when your 17 and legally able to be together you can reconnect and see if the old spark is still there.
This would be the adult thing to do, the right thing to do considering he stayed with you when you needed him. While yes in my mind he is trying to dump you he is doing so in the least possible harmful way. I realize it is still hurtful though their are other ways for him to have done so that are a lot more hurtful.
So be adult about this as all it would take is a phone call to the police by your parents or therapist if your still seeing one and he would be in a world of hurt. which would include a long time in jail just for being with you.
]
My best advice is to dump him, Move on and meet someone who is your age and in a more convenient location for you. Seeking revenge on him is childish. It's not going to change anything but make matters worse for you and prove to him that he was right to move on to begin with. If a guy wants to have an open relationship then it in a way means he's moved on and is looking for someone else and there is no point in waiting around for him. This man is also simply too old for you, Fact is, He is an adult and you are still a minor in the eyes of the law.
]
If i was in that situation I would probably dump him. Who wants a relationship with a guy free to his will to go kiss other girls! Dump and be gone with him. Find someone your own age and close by so you can have a good relationship :) hope this helps bye!!!
]
More Questions: |