|
im 15 and pregnant my mom wants to take me for a abortion
I'm 15 and pregnant my mom wants to take me to have a abortion she said she would make me do it no matter what I'm stuch need help she does not like the farther of the baby because mostly because his a coloured and I'm white but its my choice not hers I see where she is comeing from and I reli know its hard and a lot of work but I realy want the baby my partners familie are exited for me and him but my familie will like kill me they are a very rastest familie I hate it I was never born to be like that but I realy need help please !
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Pregnancy?
By law your mom cannot make you have an abortion if you don't want one all you have to do is tell your doctor you don't want to have an abortion and he cannot legally do the procedure without your consent because even though your still a minor when you are the age of 14 you have total say in your reproductive system because of something called the Hippo law . In my opinion I don't think that it should matter what color your boyfriend is I mean God made him Just like he made you and as long as is good to you and your baby . I hope I have helped.
]
The first responder is correct that no doctor would perform an abortion on someone who said she didn't want it done. Even though you're a minor, it is not up to your parents to force you to have an elective medical procedure. They could force you to have an appendectomy or other surgery to save your life, but not an abortion. The doctor could be charged with assault if he did an abortion on you against your will. No doctor, especially not an abortion doctor who knows that the anti-abortion crusaders would love to make a huge and public case out of something like that, would take that chance.
That solves the problem of you being forced to have an abortion. Unfortunately, it doesn't solve other problems.
You cannot just go live with your partner's family. At the age of fifteen, you would be considered a runaway. You would not be able to stay there against your parents' wishes; they could simply call the police and have you brought home.
I suggest that you inform your mother that you absolutely will not allow her to force you into an abortion; point out that all you have to do is tell the doctor that you don't want the procedure, and he won't do it, so there's no way she can make it happen. Once she knows that's off the table, she may be willing to discuss other options.
She may suggest that you put the baby up for adoption, and that is something to seriously consider. I'm not telling you that you should do that - that's your call. But here is something to keep firmly in mind: whatever you do, it should be what is best for the BABY. That is the responsibility of motherhood (and fatherhood) - you make sacrifices for your children. And sometimes, the thing you need to give up is motherhood itself.
If you intend to keep the baby, you WILL need a support system. You will not be able to raise and care for the baby entirely on your own. Babies require food, clothing, diapers, and other necessities which someone will have to provide, and unless you have a job where you make a lot more money than I did at 15, that "someone" isn't going to be you. But there are resources out there which you can use if your parents aren't going to be much help. Check with Planned Parenthood.
I'm afraid I don't have advice on how you can get your family behind you on this, or how you can make them see the error of their racist ideas. Try speaking to a counselor at school, who may be able to arrange for family counseling for all of you.
One more thing. If you choose to keep the baby, and if the father really does intend to be part of the baby's life and support that baby as a father, then he should make sure his name goes on the birth certificate. Otherwise, he will be able to walk away with few if any consequences. From the way you describe his family, that seems like an unlikely thing - but from the way you describe your family, they may be able to drive him to it.
]
There is a Federal Law called HIPPA that says mom can not force you to have an abortion. This law has given you medical confidentiality since you were 14.
This law was specifically enacted to cover young people for their reproductive systems so they would and could seek medical help when and if needed. That they could do so without parental consent or notification. No one can release medical information to anyone including your mother without your written permission. To do so they face 5 years in prison and a $10,000 fine.
So your mother can not make you have this baby or abort this baby. she cannot be in the exam room with you during doctor visits unless you invite her to be there. She cannot be in the delivery room with you unless invited.
The only time you mother would have any say in this matter would be if you were in a life or death situation. Then since you are still a minor she would have to direct your care. Otherwise when it comes to most of your medical care and care of your reproductive system you are now responsible and able to seek medical help when needed.
]
NOBODY can make you have an abortion. If she took you to such a clinic you could tell the doctor you were force and have no intention at all of having the procedure and have them deal with your mother.
If I were you I would go directly to your teachers, counselors and anyone who will listen about what is going on at home. I would pack enough clothing and then go stay with your boyfriend and his family where they are accepting of this unborn child and you.
Your mother has an irrational fear driving her actions that life for the baby, yourself and most important her will be bad because of the fact it's inter-racial and worries how people will see her more so than you. She needs counseling on that especially with what she's threatening. Her head's not on straight. You can even have the baby adopted. It's an option.
But yes you NEED to get out of this environment and living with someone else as what your mother is trying to force on you is immoral for anyone to try and force someone to do. Where does she get off? If the boyfriend's family is excited tell them what's happening, live with them and get a lawyer to keep your mother from you if need be until the kid arrives.
]
More Questions: |