|
Suicide: Should I Do It?
I'm a 16 year old girl in New Jersey. I went to a private all-girls school for grade 9 and 10 , because I hate myself, my body, my lack of confidence and courage. My parents want to send me to public school next year for gr 11 for they can no longer afford private. I've been thinking about committing suicide and cry myself to sleep every night for about 2 years. I hate everything about me, but my skills and love in ICT. I lack confidence, courage, and am too scared to go out in public. I've kept a lot of secrets for friends and for myself from my family, and not helping out my parents in housework has made them weak. I have 3 younger sisters and a brother who's the youngest.
As much as I hate myself and intend to commit suicide for various reasons I cant explain, I want to watch my brother grow up too. I don't want that I commit suicide, and my mother gets ill from it, and the future of my siblings be shattered. I dont want my family to hold their heads in shame after my death. They've done nothing wrong raising me all this time- it's just that I'm a coward. I have migraines and other bodily problems, I dont want to have sex, I hate my body, I dont want to have children and get married, I dont want to step out in public, I dont want to go to college; I'm just too shy and nervous. The problem here is I cant visit or call any one without my family knowing, and I'm planning to get rid of myself before grade 11 starts. I want to die and rot in hell for the bastard and sins I am and have done, but I wanna see my family and sibligs and their future as well. I dont want my death to split the family apart; I'm a horrible rolemodel and my siblings arent that good as they should be either.
I honestly dont know what to do ; I'm too big of a coward for many reasons, but I'll miss living as well. Yeah, this is awkward, but I'm done with convincing myself I can do anything good. I'm lazy, emotional, and a little more than average in beauty. What should I do?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
Please don't kill yourself, its good that your thinking about your family. They love you so much your parents worked hard to pay for your private school . If you feel lazy go do some sports, go find something you like to do . Maybe its the spiritual part pray pray pray. Suicide doesn't help , I know what you mean, I've been there done that. I used to cut myself but then i just i became more religious . I'm a muslim and i realized I have only one purpose in life to be a slave of God . So i hope you find anything that interests you but I'm really serious when I say this don't kill yourself. Because once your dead you can't come back you will be in that little hole and no one will be able to bring you back or stay in with you. Please please please don't kill yourself!
]
I have two things that I suggest that you read. The first is #2 on this article from the popular site Cracked.com:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)-
late_p2/
Second, I strongly recommend that you watch this lecture by Stanford Professor Robert Sapolsky:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Be sure that you watch the whole thing. Then, talk to your doctor as soon as possible. This is something that is absolutely not your fault. And this is something that millions of people struggle with every single day. People just like you. You are absolutely not in this alone, and how you are feeling is absolutely not your fault.
]
I know how u feel but,that isnt the answer to it.u have people that love u very much.what i did was just pray everyday that things will get better.and it wil
]
I know where you're coming from. That's exactly how I feel when I'm very severely depressed. You are severely depressed, that explains your extreme lack of self confidence. You should NOT be living like this! It's unbearable, and suicide seems to be the only solution. I know how bad your heart is bleeding. I've been there countless times.
Trust me when I say this: it is not possible to survive this on your own. Please go get help immediately. Life can be really awesome again! I am talking from experience. When you're in that awful dark place, you're not alive.
First of all, let me tell you some things you don't know about yourself. You are a wonderful person, and you deserve the best life possible. The world cannot afford to lose someone as special as you. You light up this world just by being here, and you have so much to contribute to the universe. Don't ever give up on yourself! You are so much stronger than you think you are.
There are many people who care about you, and want to help make your life easier. You can call either of these suicide hotlines: 1800.273.TALK or 1800.SUICIDE. The calls are completely confidential, and they'll really help you out.
As for your feelings of guilt, and your belief that you should rot in hell, that's not true. You shouldn't rot in hell. You may have made some bad decisions, but you can always repent and start over.
Get out, and get a life! Do things that make you happy! There are so many things you still have to accomplish and experience. When you feel down, discuss it with someone who can help, or write it down in a journal or song. There are so many dreams you still need to pursue, so many places you haven't explored yet, so many exotic tastes and fragrances you haven't yet experienced, the list goes on and on.
Right now your life may suck, and it feels like forever, but the truth is it is only temporary. One day the light will shine upon you again like it has on me. You just need to give it the chance.
Good luck, and I hope you feel better soon :) You can leave a message in my inbox if you need any support whatsoever. You are not alone in this!
Remember that life is precious. Experience it, don't settle for this pain!
]
WELL DON'T KILL YOURSELF! You need to stop complaining about yourself and appreciate yourself! I can relate to EVERYTHING you're going through except suicide, because NO PROBLEM is worth your life. But I went to private school also up until the fifth grade cause my parents couldn't afford the tuition. I ended up in public school in the sixth grade. It was very different. I didn't have 1 friend. I talked to people but I felt like an outcast because everyone knew eachother from fourth grade and ended up in the same sixth grade class. Even their fourth grade teacher! So I kept to myself the whole year. Then seventh grade came around and I was starting to get used to public school and I made a few friends. But my worst classes were P.E. and Math. I'm not the most athletic and in-shape person. They only reason I didn't fail P.E. was because I did the homework and they mostly graded for effort. I could never get the hang of Pre-Algebra. PRE-ALGEBRA! So in eighth grade I ended up in Algebra readiness. I only passed that becuase we literally did nothing in the class. Ninth grade came around and I had all my friends from middle school with me along with some new ones. P.E. and Math were still my worst classes, and it had been tree years since I did something school related. I never went to any of my middle school dances and I never went to homecoming in high school. Freshmen year was starting to come to an end and my parents told me, your going to a new public school. I was upset becuase my friends were at my other school. My parents took me to the course selection meeting at the other school and I hated it. MY MOM HAD ME BUY THEIR SPIRIT WEAR! I was beyond upset at that point. And I would have to take the bus, to and from school! So my mom drops me off on the first day of school, and I'm in the front of the school by myself. Soon more kids are dropped off. Everybody is talking to everybody, except me because I knew NO ONE. But I knew I was going to be at this school for the rest of my high school life so why not make the best of it. Eventually I had a small amount of friends. I still didn't go to any dances because I'm still uncomfortable with my body. People tell me I would be good at football, but I'm shy and I'm not confident in myself. I have 3 brothers and 1 sister.
Even though I've had some hard times, I knew that this was not the end of the world. Some problems we have, we tend to make them BIGGER than they really are. I knew that I wanted to go to a good college so I got better at Math. I was the only one in my Algebra class with an "A". Even though I had taken Algebra three times previously. P.E. is still a tuff subject and I'm only passing on effort. But none of my problems were big enough to make me give up.
So I'm telling you, don't give up. I know it seems the easiest solution but it's not.
And STOP HATING YOURSELF! There is no reason for you to hate yourself. So what if you messed up in the past or you don't like the way you look. LEAVE THE PAST IN THE PAST! Get up and fix it. Start complimenting yourself, flaws and all. If you don't like your body, then start exercising. That's what I'm doing.
And your 16. You don't need to be worried about sex right now. You don't need to convince yourself to do things, you just need to DO IT! Don't second guess yourself about anything!
I'm sorry I put my life story on here, but I have every bit of hope that you can make a positive change in your life. And once you change your life, I believe that you'll be an inspiration to someone else's.
I hope this helps.
~Andrew~
]
Don't do it. I know what it's like to feel average or below. I've had extremely low confidence and felt like the ONLY thing I was good at was screwing up. I've some tragedies in my life, I'm in bad health, and have felt extremely bored with my life, but there are two things that will always keep me from ever doing such a thing. 1. My family would be crushed and 2. suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Things might seem bad at one time, but trust me, you never know when they will get better. If you wait and work on improving your life, things will get better. If you commit suicide and you're not sure at that time whether or not you want to, you can't change your mind the next day. Once you're gone, you're gone and you can't take back that decision. There are specialists to help you with any problem. Please do not choose suicide and leave behind a family to grieve for you. You cannot imagine how bad it hurts to lose a child. You also don't know how great life can get if you hang in there. Good luck and God bless you, honey.
]
"I intend to commit suicide"
Never. Don't ever do it. If you don't like your life, change it. See a counseler if you need to. I suggest the suicide hotline. They'll help you too.
Good luck and take care.
]
More Questions: |