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Annoying mom.
I am 17, f and am moving into college August 25th. My mom has been begging me to get a job for a while, I have tried to only be turned down every time because I am not 18. Well, she just filled out an application for a job in my hometown and expects me to travel home on weekends to work if I get the job. I told her I don't think I can handle getting used to college life that quick, get good grades, make new friends and travel to and fro to go to work on weekends and I even told her that I don't think I would be able to come home that much because I have to keep a 3.0 to be able to stay in my major, yet she still filled out the application.. herself. I can't come home to work on weekends, while trying to do reading work or writing a paper. . I even told her that I will look for a job sophomore year so I will at least be used to college life then or even wait til second semester at school to get a job on campus. Granted, I don't even know if I will get the job or not but she's so stuck on me getting a job that she went as far as filling out an application.. for ME. What do I do?
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Okay the additional information you provided makes more sense of things.
It is not in the job description of a daughter, younger or older than her siblings, to be the peace maker or arbitrator in the family. For mom to try and force you to come home so as to not have to suffer verbal abuse from your brother, or worse is wrong.
Your mother has options. If your brother is being verbally abusive, he is an adult know. She is no longer responsible for his well being. She can tell him to keep a civil tongue in his head and give her the respect she is entitled to as his mother or the door is over their don't let it hit him in the ass as he leaves. A little tough love never hurt anyone.
If he is being physically abusive to her tat is called elder abuse and has stiff legal consequences. Yes he is her son but she does not have to take physical or mental abuse from him. If I were you and in the position you your mother is trying to put you in. I would tell him. Your an adult responsible for your actions. I'm not going to baby sit you, it is not my job. Give mom the respect she reserves or move out. Touch her improperly and I will call the police and let them handle it. Getting my education and making something out of myself is more important than keeping you out of jail.
Tell him this. IF he doesn't get it. Call the police and let them handle it. This is truly not a problem for a younger sister to handle. By using tough love you just may save your brother from a life a pain ans misery.
Good luck
Wow. There is probably more to this than what you are writing here but lets work with what you have written.
Mom was not rude to fill out the job application for you she was plain wrong. In some job applications for certain jobs by signing your name to the application she not only committed forgery she committed perjury as well.
I agree with you that traveling back and forth from College each weekend for work at home is wrong to expect of you or require of you. There are demands that College life will place on you that will preclude you coming home every weekend and not just the social life of college.
By trying to force this job on you your mother is trying to force some type of control over you and your college life and freedom. This is the real story here. Why does mom feel she needs to have you home every weekend. I don't believe it is to have you working. There is another underlying reason that you either are not aware of or have not written about.
The first thing you need to do is call the place where mom filled out the application and explain to them your mother filled out the application without your knowledge. That you are not looking for employment with them and thank them for any consideration they may have given your application.
Next if you are truly unaware of why your mom wants you home every weekend then this is something you need to find out. Your 17 and even though you will be away at college you are still legally under age and subject to your mother, controlling ways and rules. Job or no job she could still insist you come home every weekend. You need to know why.
Now when you turn 18 you are legally free of this control. I say legally free for if mom is controlling the tuition purse strings then she can exert some control over you through the manipulation of the money. That plus the old saying when your home for the summer; If you live under my roof, you live by my rules regardless of your age.
So after apologizing to the place of application for mom applying for you. The next thing is to have a serious talk with mom. IF mom has suddenly turned into something she has not been before by trying to control you more than before you need to nip this in the bud or it will only get worse as you both get older.
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Take a deep breath and let it go.
Frankly, that's what I'd do in your shoes.
It was rude of her to fill out the application, but that doesn't mean you aren't in control. In the unlikely case you get an interview, go for the practice. If you get the job, turn them down politely (even tell them you've found something nearer your college).
You are moving out in a month. You don't need to make this a battle royal. Your mom wants to be a bit nutty, that's fine. She can do that. That doesn't mean you have to take the job.
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Just because you aren't 18 doesn't mean you can't have a job. When you turn 16 (in most states), you are allowed to work. So why would you turn each job down?? That stupid.
A job is a job. Many people would be thrilled to actually get hired. If you want to be treated like an adult, you have to start to act like one. Just because you are in college doesn't mean you shouldn't have a job. Freshman, or not. 85% of college students are working fulltime, or part time jobs. I'm in college, and I'm working part time, and it isn't hard at all. My work is very flexible with my college, so if I need a day off to study, or whatever-than so be it.
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Well, you're mom just wants what's best for you. Maybe she filled out that job application for you in your hometown because she's trying to hint that she's going to miss you and she wants to see you very often. Maybe, spend some time with her, then you ask her to cancel that application she filled out. Tell her that you love her alot, that you'd visit her on holidays or when you're not busy doing work to keep you're 3.0. I'm sure she'll understand, you know how our moms are like. They gave birth to us and they can't let us go that easily. So spend time with her, hang out, do things that both you guys enjoy doing and just be there with her until you leave. Wishing you the very best
~MC~
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