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Is my boyfriend justified here?
My boyfriend and i have been in a relationship for 2 yrs. We loved each other a lot but often had fights over little things & he would temporary break up with me (like me refusing to eat fish-which is a very imp part of his culture). It was a Saturday and my last exam was over, i couldn't wait to spend the evening with him. We were having a very nice evening when i passed a comment about his family having no property of their own and staying in a rented apartment. This upset him a lot and he broke up with me. We had no contact for a week and i missed him. The following Saturday evening, he stopped by to collect his stuff from my place when i cried & apologized but he stuck to his decision. He was going to a pub with his friends (two guys). I felt sad and depressed that night and requested him to let me come along too to which he agreed. i tried getting his attention the whole time there but he ignored me & spoke to his friends about another girl he found hot and how she'd be a perfect fit in the family. I was heart broken & i allowed myself to get absolutely drunk and while they were dropping me back home, my boyfriend sat in front with one of his friends who was driving while i sat behind with the other..now i dont remember anything in the car but he saw me give his frnd a peck on his lips from the rear view mirror.The next day he calls me all sorts of names, tells his parents too..he said he would've gotten back if i hadn't done this..he says i cheated on him and i must be his bitch and get out of my skin to get him back. Its been 2 months now and he hasn't gotten back but treats me like his bitch. I have quit drinking out of my own will. i really love the guy, what must i do?
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First of all, who the heck breaks up because you don't eat fish? I'm sorry, but if you're one of those girls who enjoys being the on again off again girlfriend, you need help. So if you say no to giving him a glass of water, will he break up with you? That's completely immature and you should open your eyes and see you deserve better. Anyways, if he doesn't want to get back, forget him. It may sound difficult, but will you get to the point of begging him to get back when he breaks up with you for not eating fish? (I'm sorry, I don't think I can get over that fact.) Anyways, it may be an important part of his culture but when you're in a relationship you have to accept the person as he or she is, that's why you're with them right? If he's arrogant, nice, dorky, weird, bipolar or whatever else, you're with him, you need to accept that. I'm Spanish, we're very independent people but if my boyfriend were 'white' and he lived with his parents, I'd have to accept that. Because that's the whole point of being in a relationship, loving and accepting that person as he or she is. The fact that he dared to call some other girl hot in front of you is just, stupid and immature if he did it to make you jealous. It sounds like a case of low self-esteem. They're still a few good guys on this planet, be smart and see that you could be treated A LOT better. Please don't settle for this guy, he sounds arrogant and if you stay with him, you'll most likely become distrusting. Why? Because if you do something wrong, he'll break up with you. Every couple has their differences, and arguments even but to break up every time? Ridiculous. Open your eyes and see you deserve SO MUCH BETTER! Best of luck [:
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I would not want to be in this relationship. Yes you were very wrong for talking about his family's living conditions, but that never justifies a man to disrespect a woman like that. As far as I'm concerned, your part in this relationship is over. You don't need anybody treating you like dirt because you deserve better than that. This man has no respect for you. I believe that when you made that comment about his family, he used that opportunity to play with your emotions. CUT HIM LOOSE. You don't need to be with guys like that.
~Andrew~
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The thing about a break up is that it doesn't need to be 'justified' it just IS, because for whatever reason, just or not, one person decides that they are out.
He decided he is out.
Thank goodness one of you did because you two are horrible to each other! Destructive, nasty and at least a little bit abusive.
Nothing you have done to one another, the cheating, the name-calling, the attention-seeking, is justified. It was all unjustified and nasty! There is no good reason for anyone to behave that way towards anyone else.
Stop letting him treat you like his bitch - whatever that means. Put a stop to it by getting him out of your life and keeping him out of your life.
Move on. Try to behave better, with someone else.
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I sort of disagree with the user below me, I see two sides to the situation.
From what you wrote here :(like me refusing to eat fish-which is a very imp part of his culture).:
Then again here :he ignored me & spoke to his friends about another girl he found hot and how she'd be a perfect fit in the family.:
It sounds to me that he is looking for someone that he can share his culture with. Is he by any chance religious?...
Anyway, Onto my advice
Seriously, End the relationship. This relationship is childish and immature on both of your behalves. This guy is looking for someone to share culture beliefs with not someone who is going to refuse to eat fish when it is one of his traditions.
On the other hand, Making a comment about how his family lives in apartment is sort of a bit rude on your part. I would even be a little offended if someone made a remark about my parents living situation. Some people are just sensitive when it comes to their parents. However, I would be upset but would I go as far as dumping you over it? No.
Your boyfriend is immature, Only an ass would drag along his girlfriend to make her feel like shit in front of his friends. Why did you even ask to tag along to begin with? He broke up with you. If someone breaks up with you then you should never ask to tag along as all it will do is make the situation more uncomfortable. Move on from him, You should of learned your lesson by now. If he has dumped you over petty things and talked about other women in front of his friends while you were there then it's pretty obvious he doesn't want to be in the relationship. Do yourself a favor, Cut contact and end it
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Honestly, I'd leave him. He sounds temperamental and controlling. A man doesn't "break up" with his woman over something silly like a comment, he may fall out with you but that should be resolved in a day tops!
When he was out with his friends, talking about this "hot woman" who'd fit in, he did that entirely on purpose. He knew you'd hear it and it would upset you, as a form of punishment. Understandably you wanted to drink to both not remember feeling that way any more and hope to drown out their conversation, his friend was most likely trying to comfort you, as I'd imagine you were visibly upset, guess what?
That isn't his friends job! If your man upset you, your man should fix it, not ignore you and expect you to get over it.
By all senses this sounds like an emotionally abusive relationship, and that can escalate quickly. Unfortunately men like this are very good at getting a girl to fall for them, it's a game to them so get out while you can and meet a man that appreciates you! theres plenty out there and you have all the time in the world :)
goodluck x
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