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stressed out, am I over reacting?
Whenever my boyfriend is stressed out, I make sure I am there for him 100% and I always talk to him to calm him down and offer to help. This usually happens when he's stressed over work or homework. Basically I'm really verbally involved and supportive. Whenever I get stressed, over homework or just for whatever reason at the time, he often just doesn't support me the same as I do, and that frustrates me so much because I'm looking for the same from him that I give him. Am I over reacting? A lot of times he gets silent and says, what would you like me to do? I dont know if I am wrong or not. 20/f
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the only way for him to really know how you feel is just to lay it on him lightly. just bring it up when you guys are hanging out. guys are really bad at taking hints, so if you want to put an end to this you need to tell him exactly how you feel. dont act defensively, listen to what he has to say aswell. try not to make it into an argument by simply asking him for help next time.
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Sit him down and explain it to him. You offer him love in the way you want it given. But not everyone works the same way, where some people want words of affirmation like you give him, others need physical touch for comfort, or even acts of service. People show love and understand love in different ways.
He asks what you want him to do, explain it. In detail if necessary. It's understanding that it's frustrating, but you need to put yourself in his shoes for a second. He's probably at a loss for how to give you what you need because he works differently and the things that to you seem natural are not his default method of expressing himself.
Teach him what you need. Work on it. Expect it to be a process.
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Hey there,
Okay firstly I do not think you are over reacting at all.
You're right to want the support of your boyfriend it's only natural.
especially since you invest so much time in supporting him.
He probably finds it difficult in knowing what to say or do to make you feel better. Perhaps it's hard for him to express himself in these types of situations. I have a friend like that who gets all awkward whenever someone is stressed or upset.
Have a talk to him. Tell him exactly how you feel. How you feel under appreciated when he doesn't support you as much. Tell him what you need from him in return. Suggest ways that he can help you. I know you might say you shouldn't have to but if it's hard for him it'll help.
Ask him why he doesn't show as much interest in supporting you.
Is it because he doesn't know what to do or simply that he doesn't care?If it's the latter (which I'm sure it's not) Then you really need to rethink the relationship.
Good luck and I hope this helps.
Much <3
Jess 18/f
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Personally, I don't think you're over reacting. All you are looking for is the same compassion as you give him when he is stressed, and there is nothing wrong with that. It would be great if he offered the same kind of support you give him. You could possibly talk to him about how it makes you feel. Maybe you guys can come to a solution. If not, than you must learn how to deal with your stress on your own. It may seem difficult sometimes, but he is won't support you, you have to support yourself. I hope I could help. Good luck :)
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