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Picking the right guy
Hi all... Here it is I have been with a guy for 6 years,recently just got engaged. We have has issues around drinking but they were never addressed I always looked past it - finally I have met someone else and decided to call it quits - this guy is wonderful I actually thought he was my soulmate. He takes care of me and life with him would be so different and stress free financially. Since I called it quits now my finance or whatever he shall be called at this time has decided he wants to change, not drink , be affectionate what I have always wanted. He always has a little 5 year old who I have. Know since infancy. Looking on some advice here ... Do guys ever really change , The new guy is head over heals for me and weI think deep down we r soulmates. Not sure what to do from here go and try living an awesome life or stay here out of guilt bcuz he is trying - also financial stability is ok. Please give advice ! I want to get married and have a
Child soon and now it'll be put off even longer ! When I am with my finance I feel nothing anymore but I feel if I tried I could make it work- I just don't wsnt to make the wrong decision..
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Screw the old guy.
Stick with the new guy.
Guys don't change completely. We pretty much are the way we are going to be. We might say that we are going to change, or even make steps towards changing, but deep down we are who we are, and if you don't like that, then you shouldn't be with that person.
It might be hard to say goodbye to him for good, but just do it. You have someone better in your life now, and you have your whole life ahead of you.
Good luck.
xChaos
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Anyone CAN change, and some people do.
Was your breakup the wake up call he needed?
Or is he just game-playing?
Is he actually on the path to real change?
No way to know. None at all. He probably doesn't even know. Only time will tell.
So the question really is, where do you want to put your energy? Do you still feel enough to try and make it work with your long-time partner, or have you already moved on? No one call really answer that question for you. If you think you've found your soulmate in this new guy, that is not something most people would consider giving up. But if the drinking was really all you needed to have changed so you could stay with the man you've invested so much of your life into... well, that's a lot to leave behind.
No easy answer, but also no really 'wrong decision' either. You do what you think is best and then you find out if it is or not. Same as with everything else in life.
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Sounds like the guy is trying to guilt trip you, While it is certainly possible for people to change the question you really should be asking yourself is did he try to change at all in the course of 6 years that you were with him?
If I were in your shoes, I'd be considering the fact that he has had 6 years to shape up his ways and he didn't. I think the guy is jealous and is trying to manipulate his way back to you. Really, If you are happy with the guy you are with now there is no point in turning back. I personally would say stick with the guy you have now. If you felt nothing when you were with him then apparently over the course of time you've learned to move on. Don't let him guilt trip you as nobody knows the guy better than you and I'd imagine after 6 years you would already know the answer to your question. Move on and be happy with your life don't take 3 steps backwards.
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