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My boyfriend...what do I do?
So, my boyfriend and I have been going through some rough patches I guess. But lately he has been quite rude to me...he'll decline my calls, yell at me while we're on the phone for the silliest things, he'll get into these moods where he won't talk to me. But when we're together he really is amazing to me... Lately though I feel like he's ready to be done with this relationship....yet he gave me a beautiful promise ring on my birthday, saying he'd marry me, I don't know what to do, but he's really been hurting me...
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I would like to have had some more information. Such as your age, how long you have been with this guy and if you have an commitments such as living together etc. If there are no commitments then dump his ass!! It seems to me like he wants you only when he wants you and if you need or want him thats too bad. There are plenty of guys out there. There is absolutely no need to stay with someone who treats you like crap one minute and amazing the next. Tell him how you feel and maybe he will change. Probably not...
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Not knowing you it's hard to say.
But let me see if I can give you some general idea of perhaps what might be going on:
Guys generally hate talking on the phone. We tend to prefer face to face interaction. I also hate getting phone calls when I am in the middle of something I was working o n or I might just want some me time and not deal with anyone.
I'm not sure what the rudeness is about, though. Generally, I would say that could indicate one of two things: one, he is using a passive-aggressive way to try to get you to end the relationship so that he won't feel guilty pulling the trigger on it himself or he is emotionally abusive.
Which brings us to the other stuff: abusers often experience a certain amount of remorse for what they do and may go overboard making up, but yet, they continue being abusive later on.
Personally, no matter what he said to you that was nice recently, I think it would be emotionally healthier for you to bail on the relationship and find someone who is on more of an even keel.
I know women love difficult guys and that is why abusers often get lots of chicks. So it's up to you as to how you read this and react to it. I think you would be doing yourself a big favor if you ended it.
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I would say the best thing to do about it would be to talk to him. If he really loves for you and cares as much as he's proposing by giving you a promise ring he should understand that he needs to control his moods and how he treats you a little better. Tell him how you feel. (:
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