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humorist-workshop
Should I say this?
So, every year my school does a thing for the seniors called senior retreat. For a couple of days we go out of town together and stay at a convent.. and just really get to know each other. We pick out roommates, have little activities, and get letters pre-written by our parents for the event. But one night, everything gets really heavy.
I've heard from every class of seniors before me that people usually cry on the second night. There is a sharing session where you bring something from your past that means something a lot to you- maybe it represents personal growth or a fond memory. I thought I would bring something with a sad memory and something with a happy memory, depending on the mood of the night and what people seem to be sharing most.
So here is my question: If the mood is depressing I want to share my story about my dad being verbally abusive. Trouble is, I don't want to trash him... yet I want to share this part of myself with people to show hope if they struggle with something similar, or know someone who does. I also want a certain teacher to notice, who has always really stood out to me- but I'd never tell him my home situation like that.
I am not currently abused or anything- and I was never physically abused. Nothing illegal or anything. But I used to struggle a lot... So I was wondering if it would be appropriate to share. I'll do it if it feels right.
Things people have shared in the past that is SUPPOSED to remain confidential:
Abortions
Drug addictions
Etc. Gloomy stuff... so I think my story fits in quite nicely. Do you think I'd be sharing it for the wrong reason?
Thanks for bearing with me through the long story. God bless, all advise = appreciated greatly!
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I see nothing wrong with your sharing this part of your life for the reasons you have given. Mental abuse is just as bad and terrifying as physical abuse, maybe worse.
One thing you must be aware of; even though this is suppose to be confidential. Teachers are leagally obligated to report abuse when they see or hear about it. Many states require teachers to report mental abuse as well as physical abuse if they become aware of it.
I realize that you don't want to trash your dad and probably don't want to cause any trouble either. The problem with abuse of any type is the victim, in this case you, generally deals with it in there own way. This is not a good idea as most just try to bury what has happened and years down the road the consequences of the abuse manifest itself in different ways. Sometimes it is a depressive episode requiring long term help.
I myself am a victim of childhood mental abuse. A horrible car accident triggered something in me that brought out the problems of my past abuse. It has taken 5 years of therapy to resolve many of the issues that I should have resolved early in life, instead I neatly boxed them in my subconscious. The accident somehow broke the lock and they all came tumbeling out.
Telling your story in this manner to thank this teacher for standing by you is may be a nice way to say thank you. He or she may still be obligated to take appropriate action as they have no legal right to keep your privacy and are lawfully required to report such things.
I would also like you to make a phone call to talk with some people that are experts in abuse. The organization is RAINN which stands for: Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. They operate a 24/7 hotline for victims to call and get help. You do not truly see yourself as a victim but I believe you are, just as I was.
I would like you to call and talk with them and let them help you find someone in your home town to talk with who can help you deal with this now so it does not come out later as it did with me and does with so many other victims. Their number is 1-800-656-HOPE(4673).
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I mean I guess its up to how you truly feel about it. Do you really want everyone to know what has happened to you? You have to be comfortable with it, in a way it could be good because there maybe someone else who is going through the same thing. In another way there are people who may turn this out to be a negative thing or even make rumors. You should think of the consequences that you may face after talking about this.
I remember at the end of my senior year my class got together and we sat in a circle. We talked about a lot of things some happy and a lot of sad things. It was nice to know that we as classmates trusted one another with our stories. There was one girl who had a story and she broke down while telling it...I felt so bad for her and what she went through. It showed how strong she was and how much she had grown as a person though. I had known this girl for four years and in that four years my respect for her grew more and more.
So think about how comfortable you feel among your peers and if you really want them to know your story.
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