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He Won't Let Me See Him With His Shirt Off
I'm 20 years old and I've been with my boyfriend whose 22 for over 5 months. We've had a few problems, mainly minor but so far things are going great.
There is one problem though when we're having sex he won't take off his shirt. Actually make it where he won't let me see him without his shirt period. I actually tried pulling up his shirt because I wanted to try something new, and as soon as I did that he pulled his shirt back down.
When I asked him if I could see him without his shirt off, he said no. I asked him "Why not? I'm not your girlfriend," again he told me no.
He's the only boyfriend of mine that I've never seen fully naked. He does have a lot of body issues, he's overweight from playing football and has never been able to take off all of the weight. I'm used to when I'm having sex actually getting to see the guy naked.
He loves me and I love him, we're both very much into sex. He's seen me naked and topless a bunch of times, I would like to have the opportunity to see him naked.
Is there anything that I can do to get him to feel more comfortable about taking his shirt off in front of me?
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God, men are such pussies nowadays.
The only halfway rational reason I can see for his hesitance to not go fully starkers in bed is that he has something like back hair and a previous girlfriend gave him a lot of guff about it. But if he is already significantly overweight he has to know that you realized that a long time ago.
If he really wants to lose the weight he can. If his body has been beat up by football, he can join a swim club and do one to two miles a day in the pool, which will be a lot less stress on his body than something like jogging. If he can couple that with weight training he can blow the pounds off in pretty short order unless he refuses to make the necessary dietary changes. Then you have some thinking to do as to his prospective health outcome in the long term and how that may affect your future with him.
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Hello, I am 20/F also and have a similar problem but it isn't the end of the world. For me it didn't matter what I said, what I did or pointed out that I am no oil painting either, the shirt stays on in bed and during sex.
I guess what I am trying to say is it is probably one of those things you might have to accept like an over-active kisser or someone who sleeps naked. They do it because that is the way they are and the only way they feel comfortable and for me I wouldn't like to take that away from them.
At the moment to try and get my fella's confidence up we're taking more walks together in hopes that it shifts some of that weight in order for him to feel comfortable naked (although with me my other half is 34/M and believes he peaked about 2 years ago) Perhaps try a similar thing or join a group with him?
The fact that he keeps his shirt on, yes it is different as also I have been with guys who go completely naked but as I love him it is something I have learned to accept.
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If this is truly a question of body issues this is something that is hard to overcome. He may see his body issues(s) as something you will find as a turn off, it is definitely something he does not like about himself.
There are several issues I can think of that would cause him to feel this way.
First: You say he is overweight; this could give him the appearance of having breasts. Even men that are not overweight can have body tissue in the breast area that give them what is referred to as male breasts. Usually a simple liposuction type procedure rids them of this problem.
Second: If your BF is grossly overweight he could have skin rolls he feels are unsightly and can have unsightly rashes as well from the rolls rubbing against each other.
Third: This one is highly possible; he could have a tattoo on his chest or back that he does not want you to see.
Fourth: It can be none of the above and something else about his body he is ashamed of.
What you need to do is convince him of you love for him and get him to tell you first what it is that he does not want you to see. Then you need to convince him that whatever it is is not a turn off.
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How long has it been that you have been in a situation with him where he wasnt taking off his shirt? 5 months?
I think it will obviously take time and hopefully by you reassuring him that you love him for who he is and not how he looks per se, he will eventually trust and come to take off his shirt.
Maybe mentioning one of your insecurities with him might help, empathize with him.
I would also tell him why I want to see him with his shirt off but not force him to. I'd tell him, that whenever he is ready, then that works with me.
At that point I would also mention and often enough remind the person that I care about them regardless if they have acne or are just plain overweight under their shirt.
It's a shame that people can feel so embarassed or ashamed of the way they look. He needs to find it in him to accept who he is under his shirt and feel okay in his skin, enough to expose himself to another.
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He is insecure
I would sit down and talk to him, Tell him you love him none the less. If you two are going to be intimate with each other then he is going to have to learn to trust you. Relationships aren't a one way street and with a little communication and work he'll slowly begin to feel more comfortable around you. You two may be having sex but clearly your boyfriend doesn't fully trust you just yet. He may be afraid you will judge him, make fun of him, think of him differently etc. This is where the communication comes to play but try not too pressure him just remind him that you love him no matter what and he has nothing to worry about. Whenever he is ready, He'll come around
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