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asking about the past
this is just a general question,if you are starting to see someone, is it ok to ask how their past relationshp ended? just to make sure your possible relationship won't end the same way?
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Yes and no. It can be argued both ways.
First off depending on how long you've been in a relationship with this person its okay to ask casually what happened between them and the ex. It can't be a constant discussion though.
And last don't ask about the ex so you don't make the same mistake. The reason for this is the relationship that you're in and nothing like any other relationship you and your partner with anyone else. It's not good to compare and take notes on past relationships.
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I don't think you should just come out and ask randomly or anything. If you two are close and have been dating for a while it'll probably come out in conversation anyway. Try not to seem like you're basing your present relationship on his past one's.
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Actually, I disagree.
I'm always very curious about how past relationships end. I'd like to be able to ask, and I'd hope someone who wanted to get to know me would feel free to ask me too.
Where we have been, has a lot to do with where we are now.
Of course, how and when you ask about past relationships is important, and if you are doing it just to 'make sure it doesn't end the same way this time' you are doing it for the wrong reason. That's fearful and judgmental. It turns people off and is offending. These sorts of things aren't meant to be a game of 'gotcha' it's a chance to listen to another person tell you about their life and feelings on relationships.
By all means ask, but remember it's all part of getting to know one another, you are not trying to catch your partner or invent possible future problems. Just to be able to share things honestly. People like to talk about themselves and their views and opinions. Don't seek to judge them ormthier ex. Just listen.
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I sort of agree with Krista
However, We all get curious I suppose but it's definitely not a subject I would bring up early in the relationship. If you and your partner have a good bond and good communication and the subject of exes just happens to come up then you could ask. However I'd skip out on randomly bringing it up because exes aren't exactly a persons favorite subject.
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If you just asked out of the blue, that'd be really weird/rude. I've had guys ask me that before and I got almost offended (it's a nosy question) and avoided answering. Past relationships have nothing to do with your current one and worrying about them will do absolutely nothing besides irritate the person you're with.If or when they want to talk about their past, they will.
-Krista, 20/f
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