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Losing weight with so much going against me? How do I do it?
Well yesterday i was woken up to go school clothes shopping. While we were there my guardian(she is my actual grandmother) Asked if i could fit into 0's in women. I said no because my thighs are too big. She then proceeded to say "Because your fat, you need to quit gaining weight" and I left the store crying. She has been saying that since 4th grade and i'm currently going into 8th.
Anyway. I am somewhat overweight, but not very much. I have so access stomach weight. and my thighs are somewhat fatty. I have allot of stretch marks on my thighs. But my doctor informed me it was because my skin has no elasticity in it. So its not from getting 'too fat' in that area.
I'm usually home and i'm not really aloud out of the house to go on walks or runs or anything. I don't like to be out of my room because i don't get along with my cousins that live with me or my female guardian. And my room has no space at all. I'm wondering what i can to loose weight? I can't walks to school because i live 7 and a half miles away from school. I can't play sports because no one is willing to pick me up after practice. Eating healthy is nothing i can control because i can't choose whats being bought as food in this house. Every time i ask for something they refuse to get it.
F/13/4"11/about 128 lbs
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The worst part of this to me is the way your grandmother treats you. My heart absolutely sank when I read those first lines.
It's not nice, and it's certainly not acceptable to ask you if you fit into a certain size and then to proceed to insult you. That to me says that she only asked so she could hurt you and bring you down, and that's just so awful.
For some reason, I've found that mothers, grandmothers, sisters and other female parental figures use insults and direct language to get an issue across to younger females. Growing up my mother and sister used to insult me constantly on my weight and tell me that I needed to exercise and eat better, but they would do nothing to help me. It's the wrong way to go about advising someone that they should lose weight, and it's only going to further damage the situation, not to mention completely destroy your self esteem.
You're at a really young age and I don't want to give you too much dieting advice because I know growing up that myself and a lot of girls around me went about dieting and exercise the wrong way. But because you don't have anyone there to help you out, I'm gonna try to do the best I can to give you some solid advice.
First of all, forget what your Grandma says. I know it really hurts, especially after such a long time of insults and put downs, but you can't let people make you feel like that. You don't think you're fat, and I think that's wonderful. It's not about being a certain size or looking a certain way, it's about being happy with how you are. If you're comfortable and happy with your body, then you don't need to change it. If you honestly are not personally happy with your body, not because of your grandma but because YOU aren't happy with it, then you should absolutely take steps to changing yourself. But regardless of how you see yourself and what size you are, you're absolutely beautiful in my opinion JUST THE WAY YOU ARE! You should tell yourself every single day that you are beautiful and deserve to be happy, and don't ever let yourself think that you aren't.
If you want to start eating healthier, here are some tips:
- Remember to eat 3 meals a day (breakfast, lunch, dinner) and normally about 2 snacks a day. Always eat breakfast because it gets your metabolism going. Your metabolism is what helps you break down food and fat. Some people are born with faster metabolisms than other people (people with fast metabolisms are those people that can eat whatever they want and don't seem to gain any weight!)
- Think about the size of your meals when you're going to eat. Put your hands into fists and put them together. That's how big each of your meals should be. To help you eat smaller meals, use a smaller plate instead of a bigger one for dinner. Avoid adding too much salt, sauces and dressings as they have a lot of calories in them.
- I usually make snacks about the size of one fist. Snacks should be things like fruit, nuts, yoghurt and things like that. If your family won't provide these things for you or healthier snack alternatives, just remember the one fist rule. Some great snacks for school would be apples, fruit and nut bars (the kellogs crunchy bars are delicious), mini fruit salads, sultanas, salads or your favourite cut up vegetables, dried fruits, low-fat cheese and crackers, rice cakes with your choice of topping (like vegetables, spreads, cheese), mini tubs of low-fat yoghurt, nuts and trail mix, and there might be some other things your family can think of. I know they won't listen to what you ask to buy, but ask them nicely what they think about this and if they have any tips on healthier foods. A good recess snack would be an apple and a yoghurt tub, or some cheese and crackers and some carrot sticks.
- For lunch, stick to healthy foods like sandwiches, salads and fruit. Sandwiches can seem pretty boring if you have them too often, but try to change it up every day with a different sandwich. Maybe one day a ham sandwich, another day a turkey sandwich, another day a lettuce tomato and cheese sandwich, and so on. It might even help if you offer to make them at night or in the morning before school if your grandma buys the meats and vegetables for you. A nice piece of fruit or some nuts would be a good addition to your lunch.
- Your schedule should be
Breakfast
Mid-morning snack (recess)
Lunch
After school snack
Dinner
Possibly after-dinner snack.
And remember that even if you decide to eat an after dinner snack you should be eating a healthy snack (so, maybe some milk and a low-fat biscuit or a tea if you like it). Remember you're 13 and some of your fat can be baby fat which will go away in time. Just keep eating healthy food and thinking positive thoughts!
- Also, avoid fast food, fatty food, fried food and only drink water. Bring a big bottle of water to school every day and don't drink soda's or juices because they're high in sugar. A glass of juice a day is okay to have, but stick to water mostly.
If no one will buy you these foods, still remember the food size and to drink lots of water.
These are some exercises I used to do in my bedroom when I was younger. If you don't know what some of these are, just youtube them or look at google images and it will explain the proper way to do them.
- Jogging on the spot.
- Dancing to music.
- Push ups (for really small spaces, you could do push ups against your wall).
- Lunges.
- Squats.
- Sit ups.
I know that no one will really let you go anywhere, but if you have a backyard, front yard, courtyard or a nearby park you could try:
- Skipping.
- Running on the sport or in short circuits.
- Bike Riding.
- Walking.
- Jogging.
Also, go onto youtube or google things like "exercises for small spaces" or "quick exercises" and there will be hundreds of videos and websites with people who will go through it in detail. I think a great exercise is dancing, and you can look up dance exercise, leaning hip hop, learning belly dancing or just turn on some music and do your own thing for half an hour. You can also look up yoga and aerobic or exercise videos, and they'll go through step by step different exercises you can do. Try to do about half an hour of exercises a day where you're sweating constantly and your heart is always beating really fast.
Why don't you also try talking to your friends at school and seeing what sports they do or if they'd be interested in joining something with you? They might be able to get their parents to take you home in the afternoons so your guardian doesn't have to worry about it.
There's something I would like you to do, and if it doesn't work out I'm sorry. I'd like you to speak to your guardian and have a polite, long talk with her. Tell her that you want to lose weight but you need her help in choosing the right food. Just be really nice and friendly, and ask her if she could please help you pick foods that would help you lose weight. You could also ask if she can think of any ways you could do some regular exercise. If she's mean or rude, or it just doesn't work out, then you hold your gorgeous head up high and do the best you can on your own.
Sometimes life can be really hard and it can be so difficult to try and stay positive when you feel like you've got no one around to help you out or make you feel special, but I promise that it'll change in time. Just remember that you ARE beautiful exactly how you are, and I swear one day things will look a whole lot brighter. Just give it some time. Even if the whole world is against you, you can always come out of it. You just have to keep reminding yourself that you're an incredible girl and that you deserve to be successful and happy, and never let yourself forget that.
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Well, I would say eat what is given to you that is healthy if the portions are big enough that if you don't do otherwise you will starve. You could do sit ups and push ups to tone your body etc, but you shouldnt lose weight if you don't need to, make sure you are healthy about it. As far as your guardian goes, if the things being said to you are mean etc, try to ignore them because thats not nice at all. and as you get older your body will natuarally grow into itself as well. :) Just try to take care of your self and stay confident :)
At the moment it doesnt sound like you can do more than this.
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