my boyfriend and i split up after a little more than a year and a half, its a long story and forget who broke up with who but the main reason why we fell apart was because he felt too controlled and he wanted to be free and live his life, our past relationship had so many mistakes, and we split up for like 1 month and when he came back to me, i decided to do this right, he apologized and i tried to forgive him for the sake of the relationship, he asked for me back and tried to gain my trust back for a month, during that month ive told him im startin to really trust him and i would like to be together and he said \"ur rushing things, give it some time\"and i gave it time, and during that time we were fixing things how he was supposed to make it up to me, he treated me bad at times, gave me alot of attitude for no reason, for example we were supposed to go to this certain place, and he decided that maybe to keep us some company we should go somewhere else with his 2 friends that are a couple, i couldnt take a cab all the way there because i did not know where it was, so he told me to go over his firends house, which is that girl, and he would come pick me up with his guy friend, i barely even know her that well, so i \"breathed out\" hard cause i was nervous, im the type of person that just gets nervous fast because he kept raising his voice (btw, our relationship was mentally abusive, he wud always call me names and an idiot, but the reason why i held on so long is because when he treated me right i loved it and it was worth it\"anyway, when i breathed out and got mad that i didnt wanna go over her house and do all that(because where i live its not very safe)i told him im just mad cause hes basically making me do this and that and we didnt even agree on it, he was like \"dont come, what do you want me to tell you, dont come then\" im like no no ill come, hes like okay now take down this certain number, so i was in the bathroom and there was no pencil, and my mom doesnt know we talk so i couldnt get out so i grabbed a lipstick and started shaking and then it broke so im like \" i dont have a pen\" hes like Ohmygod.., im like ill jus call you back on this number,hes like its not even my phone, and he kept raising his voice.. so he shuts without sayin bye, so i call him and stood up for myself and said ive had it, ive been trying to be so nice and all you do is treat me bad, (even a couple of days ago,when he was trying to fix things he wud be like your an idiot your stupid, because i cursed by mistake or something (not at him, it was a word that sounded like a curse but wasnt) and hes like your fucking stupid) so i was like even a few days ago you kept yeling and cursing and i wrote you back saying \"lets be cool i dont wanna fight even though i didnt even do anythin wrong \" so i told him you fucked up my day im not gonna come you keep yeling and makin me all nervous so forget it, hes like just take the number im like no, you are so mean :s , so we shut, and i wrote him telling him idont know why you treat me bad, all i do is be nice to you and im trying to forgive you for leaving me for the free life, and you did so many things to me yet im trying to gain your trust, so after that we just talked normally the day after, and he told me he was going on a \"blind date\" funny huh? i told him why wud you do that were fixing things and youhave me hes like \" i dont have youu , and who said were together?\" i was like dont you think its time already i mean i trust you, i told you i do now, and you trust me.. whats missing? hes like i just dont feel it anymore.. we dont click.. i dont have feelings for you.. he hurt me again.. so bad.. im at this phase where i think \" i could have just went out with him when he told me to even tho he was treating me bad\" but idont know.. i didnt do anything wrong :s, i tried doing everything perfectly but he said after that argument he just doesnt see it working, but hes the one who started this argument.. hes the one who did all this.. my minds going round and round i dont know why i try blaming it on myself, what do you guys think about all this :(... im very mature and wise.. my mind just isnt in the right place so please just dont critize me or tell me im dumb.. just cope with me, my hearts broken. thank you so much for taking the time to read this..
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