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Am i being obessive girlfriend or reasonable??
You know i use to think i had everything figured out for my own good but looks like this is just something i need alot of answers. Heres my situation: Me and my boyfriend have been dating almost a year next month. And we went on a break not too long ago like late july. Well...on his birthday july 23rd he invited me and i rode with him to his party. It was me and him and my best friend his brother sister and the rest of his family. then he invites this girl. Who he had apparently grown to like on our break. well that hurt my feelings because we were suppose to be working on "us." but we got back together shortly. and now that we're dating i told him to lose contact with her. and a couple times hes slipped up and texted her and stuff.Well so yesterday and today she went to cvs where he works and bought things like a drink and stuff. And i told him i was going to text her, "Theres a walgreens across the street." she doesnt have my number and its not even mean. But he flips out telling me not to do that or hell be pissed. and then i said ok im just going to ask her if yall still talk. And he said DO NOT DO THAT. and a bunch of bull about he doesnt want me to texting her and i should trust him. But if he isnt talking to her shouldnt he not worry about me asking if they are?....
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Tell him you don't get why you can't ask her tell him how you feel. Say you first thought she'd taken him from you when you first met her. But tell him your not insecure you just don't know what to think if he won't let you know whats going on between him and her.
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Trust in a relationship is one of the most important things in a relationship. Communication goes along with that as well. If you took a break from the relationship things happen your significant could either being thinking about if the relationship is a good move of if there is something else out there. Now that you two are back together you should just trust the fact that he picked you and that he's with you. Worrying if there is another girl is only going to make you go crazy. Understand that he is with you for a reason and concentrate on the relationship that you have with him. If there is evidence of why you shouldn't trust him or that you feel he maybe cheating then I would suggest sitting down with him and having a talk and if he does change move on. It's not healthy to not have trust and communication in a relationship.
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I don't know if you'll like me saying this, but......that is a bit obssesive. There are girls everywhere on this earth! You're boyfriend's bound to run into at least a few girls he'd like to talk to whether you're on a break or not. And that doesn't mean "TALK" as in hook up with the girl, it means "FRIENDS" you can't expect your boyfriend to drop talking to every girl around him just because he's with you. It's completely normal to have a boyfriend with friends that are girls. Like I stated before, there are plenty of girls on this earth....he's bound to make friends with a few. STOP BEING JEALOUS! Out of all those girls that are his friends HE CHOSE YOU to be the one that he wants to have more than that with. So BE HAPPY HE CHOSE YOU. Be more self confident in that fact enough to know that no matter how many FRIENDS that are GIRLS he has you are the one that's his GIRLFRIEND.
To tell him you'd text her like that IS mean. Complete invasion of his space! Even though you're both gf and bf together doesn't give you the right to disrespect his personal grounds. There are other ways to respectfully break down the boundaries into his personal areas. If you hadn't acted so jealously he probably would have not yelled at you and you both could work it out like two calm adults.
For an example, instead of saying, "I'm gonna text her and ask her if you two are talking" (assuming "talking" means hooking up) you could've said, "Babe, I have something that's been bothering me for a while. Hear me out ok? I know that we're dating, but the girl that came with us to your party for your birthday has been on my mind a bit lately. I feel kind of weird about you guys being together a lot. Sometimes I feel like you both may be talking to each other about things. Like about subjects involving more things than just friends would talk about. I just need to know if you have any feelings for her or not."
If it'd all been said in a calm and professional manor, he most likely would have told you the absolute truth and might have actually been flattered by the fact your worried about him being taken by another female. Plus, you save your dignity by acting cool about it instead of practically breathing over his shoulder hissing at every girl that attempts to look at him. You messed up when you'd told him you were going to ask the girl he was talking to if they were together instead of asking him. That's plain disrespect right there. By asking her and not him shows him that you don't trust him. It's forcing yourself directly into his growing path of trust for you (if there is any left) which will eventually clog up and fade. Don't do this to him. Show him you're better than that if you want to stay together in a happy and healthy relationship.
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You are out of line. Suggesting you might text her like that was petty, obsessive and just plain rude. Your boyfriend was perfectly reasonable to be shocked and embarrassed by the idea you might behave that way. It absolutely would have been mean. Frankly, in his place, if you had actually done that I would have dumped you on the spot. I don't want that kind of crazy in my life.
Would you want your boyfriend texting one of your friends and being a rude asshole? Probably not.
The truth of the universe is this:
Cheaters cheat. If someone wants to cheat it doesn't matter if you throw fits, extract promises, obsess and micro manage their entire life - it won't matter. Someone who wants too or is willing to cheat, will cheat.
Someone who doesn't want to cheat, won't. Not even if the girl/guy of their dreams throws themselves at em.
So stop treating your boyfriend like crap. If you think he'll cheat, break up with him. If you what to be with him, that means respecting and trusting him to not cheat, even if he has a friend he had or has an attraction too.
I trust my boyfriend could sleep naked beside the hottest woman on the planet and not touch her, because he's not an animal, he's a human being who can make choices. He could choose to cheat -- I trust he won't.
You might still get betrayed and hurt. That's just life. That is the risk we take when we let someone in.
Take the risk, honestly and completely, with respect for your partner. If you can't trust and respect this guy, then he's not the right partner for you.
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