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sex among children
iam an indian and iam from the state kerala.i have seen that a male & female child of age four hugging and kissing each other.i think its a sort of sexual pleasure they are sharing because they itself have a guilty feeling about what they have done.they wish parents could not see it.also the girl child told me the boy is bad&she dont want me to talk to him,when she felt that i saw their deeds.actually the girl showed intrest in boys activity and she dragged him to that.media lnfluence is there.but without any hormonal deviations in that small age how could they think so?what did they mean?what happened?
i have pointed out only one incident,but in flats children are pone to such activities without anyones compulsion.parents may not be aware of that.when a very young girl and boy locks their room inside parents think they are kids and are playing.parents must be assertive to avoid such experiences from childs life as early experiences are critical in their lifes
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I wouldn't be worried about it right now. Children see how their parents act towards each other, how couples act on TV and in movies, and they try to replicate that. If they ever saw a husband and wife hugging, they think that because they are boy and girl, they should hug. It's natural, because children their age are learning and exploring and are trying to figure out how to act with one another. I wouldn't call it 'sexual' at this point. And like in the movies, a couple usually goes to a private spot alone to be intimate. The children see that it is a private activity, and they want to assert their independence and be able to hug and kiss each other in private. It differs for all children, I know as a child I was very stubborn and independent and I wanted to do everything on my own. It's not that I wanted to hide things from my parents.
Please don't overreact and try to sheild the children from each other. They are very young and it is innocent activity. So often I see that parents are very strict on their children, don't let them go out with friends, date, or even spend time with the opposite sex. This won't stop them from being with another person in the future. It will just frustrate them. They might rebel, and completely push the parent out of their lives for being so oppressive. I find that by instilling morals into your children, and letting them gradually go out there and try new things and giving them your trust lets you have a close relationship with them and can keep them in line. If they feel like they have some freedom, they won't be itching get out and disobey you. If you can talk to your kids openly and help them make smart choices, then you both will be better for it.
I hope that could help.
Good luck,
-Abby
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Okay, you seem to have already made your mind up so I’m not really sure what you are asking. Were the children kissing on the lips? Or just cheeks?
The fact of the matter is there is nothing wrong with it. Children of 4 years old are not so drastically affected by sex in the media to act on it: they are not hormonally developed. This is just innocence of hugging, and kissing. I know in India it is perfectly normal for two grown men to hold hands: this is just as innocent, if not more so. The fact is, if you tell children off and make them feel bad just for hugging each other and kissing (simply on the cheeks or whatever, then you are treating them as adults, which forces them to grow up and try and understand what they have done is wrong. This is not good, as their childhood is critical to them (as you acknowledge), and treating them like they have committed some sexual sin undermines their innocence as they have no grasp of sexuality, or sexual emotions.
If however these kids are kissing each other on the lips using tongues (which I doubt) then it’s a different matter, especially if you think the media plays a strong role. If you think they are copying what they see on tv, you need to speak to them. Either way, I think that if you feel THAT strongly about it, sit down with the children and explain in a calm manner that what they are doing is not for young children but for adults, or considered offensive to some people, or whatever reasoning you place behind your belief.
I also think that your logic is simply flawed. Your question is "sex among children": sex is the act between a male and female where the male inserts his penis into the vagina of a woman, or the act between men and men, or women and women, I won’t divulge into the details of the latter two. Two children aged 4 hugging is not sex. Also the fact that you believe that these children seek sexual pleasure from a simple embrace is ridiculous. Sexual pleasure cannot be achieved by hugging (for most people), let alone between two children aged 4. What you are doing, by using such language is pushing the children into the world of sex, almost 'sexing' the situation even further, and pushing them into adulthood and all the problems that come with it sooner, which will in turn push the children to commit acts which they will see as "daring" and "rebellious" in the future.
I am not sure how old you are, or how mature your knowledge of the human sexual system is, but I don’t think the best option is to embarrass, shame, judge, and persecute two young children who are just being children.
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