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I don't care to be his friend anymore...
20/F I have a friend that I met at a place we both used to work. Now that we don't work there anymore, we never see each other because we live like 3 towns over. When we do see each other, it's always a let down. I never have as much fun as I anticipate I will. We're just so different. He's extremely social and likes to hang out as a group, but I like to hang out with people exclusively. The sad thing is, even when it's just him and I, which I usually prefer in a friendship, I'm so bored...I feel like I'm getting nothing out of our friendship, he's a really nice person, but I feel like I'm wasting time and effort. Should I just avoid his phone calls? Just because he's nice doesn't mean I'm obligated to be his friend...Am I right? Opinions, please?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Here is how you need to think about this, dude, because it is dead true:
Friends have different uses (you may not like the way I put that, but it's a fact if you're honest with yourself) and the nature of your relationship can change over time depending on how the context of that friendship evolves. You obviously aren't in the same place as he is, which is fine, but you have to live your life according to what makes you personally happy and not be guilt tripped into being hindered by others.
So you need to just start blowing the guy off. He will stop coming around once he has been rebuffed enough. Your friendship ran its course. It happens. Don't overthink this.
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well he is still a friend you guys are just fading away its not fair to be ignoring his phone calls he didnt do anything wrong did he? he will become more concerned why your not picking up and will become very annoying.. if you dont want him as a friend because it is your choice when he calls next tell him what you told us... no , just because he is nice doesnt mean your suppose to be his friend for sure , it just means he is a nice person to trust upon maybe your friendship traits your looking for have changed since you guys stopped working and moved away and .. if its a let down and your not comfortable with his help or hang out and if he doesnt respect it then hes not a friend.. well if you respect it too equal parts ,but its your choice I mean if you dont feel the friendship is going the right direction feel your gut and go with it :)
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your so right your not onbligated to be his friend in anyway although he's nice. Look this might be a problem if your 40 but your only 20 ha, dont get tied down go out and have a few flings and a bit of fun, i'm sure when you get old in a marriage you'll be bored enough. Just tell this guy being in a serious relationship that needs so much effort just dosen't work for you right now, offer him friendship, if he refuses it so what, you have plenty of friend and go have fun, most of all just don't worry :) xx
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If there is no spark of friendship between the two of you then there would be no point in trying to proceed what is nothing. The thing I'm yet to understand is that time changes everything, People move on and people change. Not everything is what it once was and are you wrong? No. Sometimes change is just a part of life, If you don't feel anything then you really should be honest about it. You could say "I'm really sorry to have to give you such bad news I think you are a really nice person but I don't feel we have much in common" This is one way to put it but if you don't want to confront the situation you could try to drop contact and hope he gets the picture.
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Girl, I know exactly how you feel. I've had plenty of friends like this. You are not obligated to be anyones friend. Here's my advice to you, find out some things he may like, see if maybe you do have something in common. Talk on the phone with him a couple of times, express your likes and dislikes. find some common ground. when you hang out, find something you both like to do. Don't just go for lunch or anything simple. Maybe you like the same movies, or the same sports. There's always something. If there really isn't anything, then maybe you just aren't meant to be friends, and there is nothing wrong with that. Don't feel bad, it happens to almost everyone. Hope i Helped :-)
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