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Is she worth my pain?
My friend and I have a lot of history. Long story summarized...
I lied to her about a pregnancy from when i was 15 years old that I told her was aborted but really never became a viable pregnancy. The boy who impregnated me was my boyfriend of 2 years and we broke up when I was 15 around the time the pregnancy happened.
When I was 17 i met my friend, lets call her Sally. Sally and I were friends for 6 months before she started dating the boy who got me pregnant, he was a mutual friend of ours and rather than ask me for my blessing she just kind've told me it was happening. Realistically I would've liked to have just been asked and I would've said yes regardless, they've been dating for 2 years now.
I'm now in a new relationship with a guy that she thinks is horrible for me and recently him and my new guy got in a fight. I stood by her in that fight and he almost left me for it.
Now she's calling me a selfish bitch because I admitted to having lied and told her how I felt about her never having asked about my new boyfriend.
She says she cares and wants the best for me but she's also telling me that she doesn't want to be my friend because she doesn't want to be around my relationship with my boyfriend.
Now she's being rude to me and I don't want to show that it hurts because I feel like that will mean she's winning. I just don't understand how we went from being friends and thinking that we were standing by each other to being so hostile.
I am now 20 and she is 19.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
My advice for you is to tell her how you feel and if she don't understands that mean she really wasn't your friend . My answer to your question is no , she is not worth your pain and no one is .
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"I stood by her in that fight and he almost left me for it. "
If your boyfriend wasn't such a pussy he would have left you. You flat humiliated him when you did that and I can't believe that he will come back for more.
Not only that, he is allowing your girlfriend to interfere with your relationship. That is another casus belli for a dumping. I actually broke up with one girl many years ago partially for that reason. Guys do not like having their girlfriend's friends around. You may not like that but it's true. It is a big pain in the ass when you want to be alone with your girl and her idiot pals are in the picture, too. Ugh!
Now what is going on between you and your friend is competition between women. Because the first boyfriend knocked you up you still have some residual feelings for him. However, by the same token, he is not your property and your friend did NOT need your permission to go out with him. Minding one's own business is a good thing. Learn it, live it, love it.
And your friend needs to mind her own business, too. Really you two, GTFU.
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She doesn't want to be your friend. She doesn't want to be near your boyfriend.
She's been pretty honest about those things, and pretty clear about her position here.
It's wrong of her to call you names, and it's wrong of her to be rude.
But it was also very wrong, and quite petty, to drag up the whole "You didn't ask my permission to date my ex" after they have been together for two years. The whole 'friend's don't date friend's exes' is gradeschool bullshit. It stop applying when you grow up. In the adult world, it happens, and people cope and even choose to remain friends. A lie regarding a teenage pregnancy scare is - at least - a bit understandable, but you had long ago missed your chance to comment on her relationship. Dragging it up now, right after you got upset with her over something else was not the right move. It was not a respectful or an honest way to address your feelings - it was lashing out at her with a random thing from the past because you were pissed with her for a totally unrelated thing in the present.
If you want try and repair this, tell her so, and apologise for striking out at her. It sounds like she is very direct - which can be selfish and hurtful to others - whereas you suppress your feelings and opinions and let them fester - which ends up with you resenting others and lashing out in inappropriate ways. Neither approach is a great one. If your friendship is going to survive, you'll both need to apologize, and truly forgive, and recognize and respect the different ways you both deal with stress and confrontation.
However, you have to remember that just because you choose to keep your mouth shut for two years about her boyfriend, and just because you stood up for her, doesn’t mean she HAS to do the same. Friendship is about making choices and being honest. She is not required to engage in the friendship exactly the same way you choose too. She may, honestly and lovingly, choose a different path. If you two can’t agree on how to engage in your friendship, that just makes you incompatible as friends, not bad people.
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i would tell her how you feel, tell you that one relationship shouldn't give your friendship away! friends should stick together through thick and thin!
who cares if she doesn't like your boyfriend? you're the one whos dating him.. but maybe you should listen to her on what she has to ssay about him and make sure he's a good guy and he's not cheating and stuff, if you know all that is fine, then it's okay!
"don't ever let anyone tell you he isn't good enough for you because honestly nobody knows how he makes you feel!(:"
i would talk to your bestfriend and tell her everything and don't lie because that's not a true best friend! best friens stick together and can tell each other ANYTHING! and if you were to tell her the truth about the pregnancy she can probably help you with whatever you need instead of lieing.
lieing will bring you down! and burry you, and in the long run they WILL find out!
hope i helped, good luck!(:
if you have any questions ask!
melissa!(:
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Honestly she has a right to be upset that you lied to her but she is taking this too far, also there is kind of a rule with friends you dont date the others ex unless you ask them if they are okay with it...
But there is also another problem here, guys are never supposed to come in between friendships... if I met a guy who didnt get a long with my friend I would tell him if you want me you have to get along with her... but its not going to happen even if he puts in effort is she doesnt have respect for him as well and stop trying to push him out, she should be smart enough to know that who you date is really your choice and she should respect that as well... if I were in this situation I would say if you two cant get along one of you has to go and I would lose the one who treated me worse... good luck and best wishes
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