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Staying with my boyfriend, or dumping him for someone new?
I'm 18f and my boyfriend is 17m we have been together for almost 7 months; we have had our problems like most couples do, and we have got through it. He has a real bad problem with his anger, although he has never layed a hand on me before, or even came close; he just raises his voice at me often, and sometime curses. Well, there is this guy named Jesse. He's 17/m and he works with me, and went to the same school me and my boyfriend went to before we graduated this year; for the last three months, Jesse has had the biggest crush on me. He says he's in love with me and he's not going to stop waiting for me, and he doesn't want me to rush me and my boyfriend relationship; so he is going to wait patiently. I didn't believe him at first; I figured I'd give him a couple of weeks and he'd stop waiting and find someone else; NOPE. 3 months and he is still waiting; we having touched, or anything; so I don't see how he is in love with me; he tells everyone how he feels for me; and he seems very serious about it. He's a total sweetheart; which my boyfriend really isn't the type to have a way with words; and he doesn't really say sweet things to me as much as he should; (being a girl; we like to hear it!) I told him I was going to take my time with my boyfriend; and work out everything we can work through until we come across something that can't be worked through and I wasn't going to do anything to rush us breaking up. He understood and told me to take as long as I needed cause he'd still be there. We both agree if we are meant together we will end up together; The last month I have caught myself thinking about Jesse alot, and I think I have allowed myself to gain feelings for him; but I think its wrong, so I'm telling myself no. My life is about to really start. I graduated high school this May; and now I'm starting college for Medical. I have a car and a job; and I'm trying to figure out whats going to be best for my future. My boyfriend doesn't have a job or a car; and jesse had a job but no car; Riley wants to go to college but he doubts he will because he just wants to work; and Jesse wants to go to college for Culniary Arts;
I love my boyfriend dearly; and I've talked to him about this whole situation and he's hurt by it; and I completely understand; Ive thought about it for the last month and I'm torn. Do I stay with my boyfriend who we fight a little more than most; or try this new guy without knowing if it'll only bee a couple of month thing? Please help me out; I truely don't know what to do; at all.
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Remember above all else that there is no reason to rush anything - keep focusing on what you want to do for a living and make that your priority. As far as trying to make a decision between your boyfriend and Jesse, the point to try to remember is that you don't have to make any permanent decisions yet. Take your time and let things happen as they will, and find out more about your boyfriend and what he expects from you, and if you can handle that. Remember that if any guy wants you to do something that is bad for you, or if they make demands that make you unhappy, then they're not thinking of you and your feelings, and don't deserve your devotion. That's the mistake us women make over and over, when we think that we deserve or we've done something to cause our boyfriend to demand something from us, something that we're not happy about. It's not true and try not to fall into that trap. Just remember that you're young and at the beginning of your life, and while the decisions you make now might just affect the rest of your life - there's no need to make some of them right now. Keep your goals for your future solidly in mind - and know that the situation with your boyfriend and Jessie will work out for the best, as long as you stay true to your self and don't let anyone make you feel pressured to do anything you don't want to or you're not ready for. Enjoy life while you're young, and don't make any lifelong commitments until you've figured out what you want for yourself - because only then will you be able to tell if the man you're thinking about is okay with that or not. And that above all is a necessity. :)
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from what youve told me, i think you're leaning towards taking a risk and trying someone new.
i know its scary and you dont know if youre making the right choice, but if jesse makes you smile and is already devoted to you, even though youre in a relationship, thats gotta mean something.
right now, youre moving on with your life. youre getting older and more serious, and your boyfriend isnt. he doesnt want to go to collge, he has no ambition to get a car and he'll probably be living off of you.
you have to think about whos being more serious. even your boyfriend doesnt tell you sweet things like riley does.
you KNOW whos better for you. you dont need me to tell you that. i just think youre apprehensive and nervous to let go of someone youve spent the past 7 months with. [almost 7] but in the scheme of things, 7 months isnt that long. youre having second thougts. jesse is there for you.. hes willing to wait.
take your time, but in my honest oppinion, i think jesse will be a better fit for you.
good luck, hope i helped. and im here if you need anything else ! :] xxo.
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Well, first off 7 months is a long time to be together. I honestly believe that no girl needs a guy who will yell and curse at them. I would have have to say break up with your boyfriend, but stay as friends. If you still love him dearly, having him around still would be better. But I say give his Jesse guy a chance. If he does love you as much as he says and is a total sweetheart, maybe that's just what you need.
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Girl, it is your life and you cannot allow anyone to stand in the way of your future. That includes your boyfriend and the wannabe boyfriend. You need to dump the bf and devote yourself to college, date around, maybe live overseas after graduation and just allow yourself to evolve. By the time you're 25, your sensibilities are going to change a lot and you probably won't want either of the two contestants for your affections in your life. It happens. It isn't anyone's fault.
Btw, you like your current boyfriend because he treats you like crap. And you will never go out with Jessie because he is a nice guy and kinda desperate and clingy. You got to get past this nonsense and get a clue, which is why a break up here is what the doctor ordered.
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It seems like you like jesse more and the fact that hes been waiting around for you and hasnt done anything to get in the way of your current relationship should tell you that hes a good guy i think you should do what your heart tells you to but from what youve written i think jesse would be the better choice since hes the type of guy you really want.
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