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Boyfriends Moving Far Away
My boyfriend of about 2 years is moving to alaska for a teaching job (which is realllly far away) he wants me to go with him, but honestly, i am reallly close to my mom and sister (pretty much my only family) and cannot imagine going away and not seeing them for who knows how long. i don't know what to do. i honestly thought he'd be the one i'd be with forever. any advice? I know the story of this isn't complete, but we were together for 2 years so it would be extremely long. i'm just looking for anything that might be helpful in dealing with this
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"Follow your heart." No, wait, that's usually bad advice. I don't know a lot of the logistics of such a move, which would factor into what I would advise. Ideally, he should go to Alaska first and establish himself there first before bringing you there. Ideally, he should be offering you marriage. I know that sounds a little old fashioned these days, but if you're going to follow him to distant places, uprooting yourself in the process, you're going to want a relationship anchored more firmly than bofriend/girlfriend.
Now, about that uprooting. Any committed relationship (i.e., marriage) is going to involve subordinating other relationships for that committed relationship; are you ready for that? If not, the combined stress of moving to a strange and distant place with no connections other than your boyfriend, setting up a new household, and being homesick will take a tremendous toll.
How much "stuff" do you have to move? I don't know if you already are living with him and sharing "stuff", or if you have your own place with "stuff", but if you don't share a household or don't have a lot of "stuff" of your own to move, I would consider my suggestion above, that he go first and get established, get a sense of what kind of a budget he'll be having to work on, what the community offers in services, entertainment, etc. That would give you time to prepare mentally and emotionally for the changes ahead, and to say goodbye to your family. It would also give you time to decide whether you really want to make the move.
I'm assuming that he's going to Alaska with or without you, that is, that his going is not contingent upon your going with him. If this is the case, then your focus is going to be what you want, how badly you want it, and what you're ready to do. There are a lot of factors I don't know, so I will just leave these things to consider for now. Hopefully it will give direction to your decision making. And, of course, you can always ask more questions on specific details.
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Maybe it would be a good idea to just let him go to Alaska without you, and make a decision on whether or not to join him at a later time. You may feel more clear about things after a few months apart. Good luck!
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Dear "Boyfriends Moving Far Away",
What a tough scenario you must feel that your in right? I mean, the love of your life is moving far away and you feel that there is no possible way you can leave your family behind!
First things first, you have been with this guy for about 2 years which is great! Him inviting you to come to Alaska is even greater! to me, it shows commitment and that he is very serious about your relationship.
I get leaving your mom and sister, really I do but sometimes in life it's necessary to get out and see other places ESPECIALLY with the man you love. Otherwise your at risk of living with regrets! Your mother and sister obviously are two very special women since your potentially going to end this 2 year chapter with your boyfriend.
My advice; talk with them and get their opinion(s). They care about your happiness, and yes, leaving them to go on this great adventure is jam-packed with different emotions, but it's not like your never going to see them again.
You said it yourself, he is the man who you thought you would be with forever. Don't second guess what you feel. Follow your heart, be smart about it but in the end your mother and sister will always be there for you. Now is a once in a lifetime chance to open this new chapter with your man!
Safe travels,
Braylen
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I'm going to tell you what you probably do not want to hear...
That old saying "Family is forever while relationships come and go" is very very true. As much as someone may think they are completely head over heels with someone the truth is nobody knows what the future will hold. If your boyfriend wants to move too Alaska, In my personal opinion it may be best to move on and try and meet someone local and more convenient for you.
What would I do? ..Well I am also close to my Mother and I can't possibly imagine leaving her behind either and the truth is I would never. My mother always comes first and so does the rest of my family. There are no what, If or buts about it.
If you are over the age of 18, You want to move to Alaska with your boyfriend then you do indeed have the right too as this would be your choice. I would suggest thinking about possible consequences first though...and how would you handle the situation IF it didn't work out.
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