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can i change?
So, I'm a 18 year-old boy. And i would say that i am very different from the guys i know my age. It seems like all the other guys are so easily able to control themseleves with girls. But for me, its hard.
For some reason, i am always thinking about girls, and i feel jealous, left out, horny, you know. And i dont wanna think about girls anymore. Ive recently been healing from a bad breakup, but thats not just it. Ive been always stressed about girls, like its in the back of my head all the time and i dont want to be like this anymore.
I am NOT saying that i wanna be gay or anything, but how can i become like, how do you say, unstressed and unfrustrated with girls? Because lately thats how ive been feeling: Frustrated. I see some of my guy friends and they dont even look at girls at all. like it doesnt even affect them in any way. I want to become like that. I want to be a guy with a free mind and no stress and not think about girls at all. How can i do this?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Dude, here is a bit of advice out of the player's handbook: the less interested in a girl you seem the more they will want you. The problem with nice guys is that they are just too easily available. If you look at this as more of a long term proposition then you can just tell yourself, "the hell with chicks, I have other things I would rather do."
So relax, like yourself, and just do what you're interested in. If some chick steps up to the plate and declares she wants to hitch her wagon to you then great, but if not, that's fine, too.
Don't feel obligated to prove your manhood by always having a chick on your arm. I think that is a lot of what is going on here, that you aren't feeling alpha enough and so need the validation from your buddies that comes when you are nailing a chick regularly.
Besides, masturbation never demands that you take it to dinner or buy you jewelry, it doesn't get pregnant or give you a disease and it won't file false rape charges against you. And it keeps its mouth shut.
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Its mostly hormones, maybe a slightly abnormally high sex drive. Give it a few years for the remnants of puberty to work themselves out.
Not being in a sexual relationship once you've been in a sexual relationship can definitely suck. There's probably a bit of normal desire there that's just the frustration of a young guy with plenty of sex drive and no one to take it out on.
Occupy yourself, and start working on refocusing yourself when you find you're on a mental tangent about something related to horny. You can actually stop yourself and start thinking about something else. Thing is, you need something worthwhile to think about. I read alot, and I'd think about the books I was reading when idle mind turned to annoying desires. Watch movies, get into a TV series, read something, do something that you can occupy your mind when you've got nothing else to do with it.
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A lot of guys your age feel this way. A lot of girls feel this way. I have before anyways. Id always be looking for guys approval, hoping they liked me, confused about how to act.. Etc. I began telling myself that theyre just like me, probably feel the same way, and that theyre just other human beings like myself. Its hard, but you need to have this mentality. Just look at girls only as potential FRIENDS for now. Everyone worries about the opposite sex, some people just mask it a little better than others. This stage wont last forever.
In the meantime, find something to distract yourself. Fishing, hiking, biking, art, reading, writing, anything to
keep your mind busy and off your frustration.
Hope I helped, and good luck :)
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