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humorist-workshop
friends changeing. need advice despratly!
I'm a 16 year old girl and I've been best friends with this girl since 3rd grade, we're both in 10th grade now. During 8th grade the 2 of us became great friends with another 2 girls and its been the 4 of us since. A month ago my long time best friend started hanging out with the school smokers and drug addicts, but she wasn't alone since one of my other friends liked a guy there she always went with. The past month their attitudes have changed, they smoke and drink, their clothing choices are different ect. When I try talking to them about how them changeing makes me feel they laugh and say I must get a life and stop acting like their mom. A few days ago I heard that the 2 of them told their new friends that I said some rude things about her and then she and a few of her group found me after school. They keep saying it wasn't them that told the girl but they were the only ones that knew. Plz give me advice on what to do, if I should stay friends with them or try and forget...
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I think everyone goes through this, especially in high school. A lot of teenagers are confused and don't know who they are, and they are very experimental. If you are not into drugs or drinking (which hopefully not, it just leads to a mess of problems..) then you should find more friends more like you.
I don't think you should just drop these girls just because they have changed. I think you should just remain friendly with them.. hang out with them on occasion, but focus on making friends who fit your morals and values.
I know it sucks losing friends, and drifting apart. I did that a lot with people during school.
Maybe these girls will realize the mistakes they've made, and you guys will become friends again.
What does your other friend think about this? You two should focus on making new friends together!
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I had to deal with one of my best friends changing into something that I never knew, she believe that she had to change in order for people to like her, she pierced her nose and shit, I told her how it was I don't need someone who thinks she needs to change in order to be accepted..
I'm sorry you have to go threw things like this, and I hate it when people change, but it's a part of life..you have to either tell your best friend and her friends straight up that you won't hang out with them anymore if they don't change there ways, you do NOT need to be with people who smoke or drink, it's a bad road to go down..trust me >.<
It's not your fault you have a good head on your shoulders, I don't believe in drinking or smoking..just stay strong and I guarantee if they don't change there ways, they will be in a lot of trouble later on in life.
Please don't let them get you down, and talk to a parent about this stuff if your worried about your friends, you don't want to see your friends hurt by there own stupidity?
If you need anymore help, ask meh. ;p
I hope I helped,
Good luck!!!
Emily <3
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It's time to move on. Find new friends who share your interests and values. You can still be friendly with your old friends, but you don't have to join in or follow them into relationships and activities that don't fit with your values. They actually gave you excellent advice in telling you to "get a life and stop acting like their mom." This is what you should do - get a life which involves friends and activities that fit with who you are. You have obviously let them know how you feel, and they have let you know how they feel, now it is time to accept that they have chosen a different lifestyle. It is okay for them to choose a different set of values and to live with whatever consequences those choices may bring. It is okay for you to choose to stay with your set of values and live accordingly.
This will be a growing experience for you, learning to be true to your own values, developing new friendships, learning how to deal with conflict in productive ways, all of which are important skills for navigating the adult world.
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