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Two Death my family in a little over a month
I would like some advice on how to support my family members with the loss of both our mom and sister. My mom passed away on 4/7/2011 from cancer and my younger sister was by her bedside for six month taking care of her. Only leaving her side for about an hour a day. We had services for our mom and after a couple of weeks my sister went to Florida to get away and visit some friends on the day she was do to return (5/8/2011) she was shot and killed. Our family had yet to start the grieving process for our mom when this occurred and now we face this. As of yet there are no leads of who or why this was done and has left a lot of unanswered questions for our family. I am asking for suggestion on how to support my family in this terrible time because right now it seems like everyone is going there own ways.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Loss is very hard in any family. When we lose someone close to us many questions are asked. "Why did this happen?" "What could have I done to prevent this?" "Who to blame. Questions like that make us lose focus on the actual truths in life. Your family needs a source of strength. Someoene that can pull them out of the dark and despair they are in because of the moment. One way is being there and letting them know that you are there for them. Remembering the good times with your mom and sister help. Getting together and telling stories about fun and crazy things your family did together is a way of honoring their lives. Give your family that hope knowing that their lives were not lost for nothing. You can even create a monthly or annual reunion to get together to honor them. It's being that person that steps out of the shadows and let's everyone in your family know that how important it is to appreciate each other and take that step because down the road you will be the one being honored as they are.
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First my condolences on your losses.
It is said that there are seven stages of grief. They are; shock, denial, anger, guilt, pain and sorrow,release and resolution and return to love. You will each go through the first five if not all seven. You will do so in your own way and your own time. Family grief counseling would probably help with the tragic loss of your sister and reconciling the loss of two loved family members so close together.
In a way your desire to be there for your family is your way of coping with the loss of your sister and mother. The best way to help each other is just to be there for each other. To let the other vent when needed. To give a hug when needed or a shoulder to cry on.
The say time heels all wounds; this is true. The hurt will pass, your love for them will never leave you. They will always be with you every hour of every day in you mind and that is where you draw your comfort from. Be strong for your family; but allow yourself time to grieve as well.
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