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A little scared about sex?
I've done a lot of things sexual, but I've never really had real intercourse. When I was young, I had a quick fix with an ex, but I'm not even sure if he went that deep. I'm a little scared if I have sex I will bleed or something if the guy goes deep.
But one of my other fears is prevention. I've never had sex with a condom, and I am a very worrisome person. I've been reading tips online, but my nerves won't calm. I'm scared that even if I used a condom, something bad will happen. I cannot afford birth control and my parents would surely go ballistic. I know how to be responsible, and I feel ready now.
Any advice?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Condoms?
First off, more than likely you will bleed the first time you have intercourse, the first time i had sex with my boyfriend, i bled for like a day or 2, kinda like your period without the cramps and its a lot shorter, and my friend bled her first time too. If you feel ready to have sex then go for it, just try to make sure that you are ready and the guy is not pushing you to have sex with him. Usually condoms work really well, and the only time one broke on us was when he used lube on it that wasnt meant for condoms, so beware of that, but other than that you should be fine as long as you get some good condoms and not really the cheapest ones that you see. And im not on birth control and ive been having sex with my boyfriend for about a year now and we've always used condoms, so they've worked for us. well, good luck and i hope this helped you!!
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Well I'm glad you're being smart about this and mature. If you are nervous about having sex chances are you aren't ready. Thats okay if you aren't don't feel the pressure to have sex because everyone else is. Make sure you are ready when you do make sure the guy has a condom and you can talk to your doctor about birth control tell the doctor your concern with the cost. If the cost is too much you could always go to an unplanned parenthood clinic they have birth control for cheap sometimes. You maybe ready physically but are you ready mentally? Think about it. Good luck!
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I disagree with Zane. Being a little scared is normal. I'm always nervous when I have sex with a new partner for the first time. If anything, being as cautious as you are demonstrates that you ARE ready, as you are making sure you are safe and protected.
First up: it's common for a woman to bleed the first time, or even couple of times, she has sex.
Why?
Inside the vaginal opening is a thin piece of tissue called a hymen. When something is inserted into the vagina, the hymen can break and cause a small amount of bleeding. This is where we get expressions like 'popping the cherry' from. These days, many women will have already broken their hymen before they have sex through tampon use, masturbation or other early sexual experimentation or even exercise. If this is the case, then you may not even bleed at all. If you do, then it's nothing to worry about and it shouldn't alarm you or your partner. You may want to put a towel down before you have sex, just in case.
Next, it's important you get your contraception sorted.
Condoms aren't just to prevent pregnancy. Unless you are 100% sure that you and your partner are STI free then you should always use a condom. It'd be sensible for both of you to go and get tested because not all STIs display symptoms and you don't have to have sexual intercourse to catch one.
Contrary to popular belief that condoms are ineffective in preventing pregnancy, they are still a reliable method of contraception and many couples use them regularly. When used correctly condoms are 98% effective. This means that only 2 in 100 women using condoms will get pregnant in the period of a year.
What does correct use mean?
In order to be effective, a condom needs to be within its use-by date. You need to make sure the condom is put on before intercourse starts. You also need to be extremely careful not to snag or tear it on sharp fingernails or jewellery. You should also avoid using an oil-based lubricant such as Vaseline or body-oils with a condom as these can react with the latex and cause holes.
You can find out some more information about condom effectiveness and use here:
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I find it ridiculous that free birth control isn't widely available in America like it is in the UK and other countries. However, I believe you can get hold of free birth control at Planned Parenthood clinics. You will be able to find your nearest clinic here: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location).
Here are some more links to websites providing information about the various methods of contraception available:
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As for your nerves, it's important that you try and relax. If you are too nervous, your muscles will tense up and make sex much more difficult and uncomfortable for you. If you aren't enjoying yourself then your vagina is also unlikely to produce enough natural lubricant, which will also hinder your experience. Relax, take things slowly and make sure your partner knows you are a little scared. You may want to use a lubricant such as KY jelly to make things easier and less uncomfortable. Here are some links to pages which may help put your mind at ease:
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If you are scared then you are not ready for sex.
Condoms are 99% effective but even so it doesn't always do the trick. If you cannot afford birth control then you can call and find out what places can put you on a sliding scale where you can pay off little by little. As a doctors patient you are entitled to your privacy as well. Birth control and condoms are as safe as you are going too get. However like I said in the beginning if you are scared and nervous...You are not ready.
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