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I'm apparently just part of a schedule to him
First of all, my boyfriend and I have been dating for like 1 1/2 years. I love him and I don't think he's a bad person, but I've really been having a problem with the way he treats me lately. We always hang out everyday after school until 4 (so like 30 minutes) and then we hang out every friday night from 7-10:30. Now, it's not that I have a problem with the amount of time we get to hang out, I just HATE how it's so scheduled...I feel like he doesn't even want to hang out with me outside of the schedule unless he wants to do sexual stuff. He never wants to break the schedule :( I just want to have a carefree "see each other when we feel like it" thing so it's fun and spontaneous, but he's more focused on keeping everything in order so he can get home and play his videogames for the rest of the day. I guess I just feel like he puts my feelings 2nd to videogames. I've already tried bringing this up to him many times and he just says I'm "accussing him of being a terrible boyfriend and I need to understand that he isn't going to part from his hobbies for me"...but I didn't ever ask him to do that. I'm glad he has hobbies but I just don't understand why he has to schedule his entire life, including me, based on his videogames...I don't know it just makes me feel like I'm not very special, I'm just part of the schedule to him...I don't really know what I'm asking, I just need advice please. Thanks.
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ahhh if you've talked to him and he wont listen, then there's no use beating around the bush. why dont you make plans with your friends after school or go out on friday nights with your friends? i mean, sabotage the meeting times. say you're busy and cant meet him up during those times. yeah sure, you'll miss him and you wont be able to meet him for a few days. but sooner or later, he's gonna start missing you more than his video games and be more than willing to be flexible with your scheduled meetings. right now, he probably feels that you will always be around and takes you for granted. you gotta let him know that if he doesn't work for it, he wont get you. plus, it's fun to spend more time with your friends or families once in a while.
Good Luck!
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He sounds very immature. You need more exitement in your life. Maybe start going out more with the girls and dont worry about that jackass
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Have you talked to him about this? Tell him you wanted to play things by ear rather than doing things in a routine. Personally, It sounds like he may be bored. After awhile a routine becomes a habit almost like a chore. Ask him to do something fun, Plan in out. Do something you both normally don't do that you can see one another enjoying. Go camping, Picnic, Dinner and a movie. Be creative about it but you got to communicate to work things out.
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Make a plan, and ask him to join you.
You are being unreasonable, not because of what you want, but because you are sitting around and whining about your vague desire without actually doing anything productive about it.
So make a plan. Surely he can give up a night of video gaming to go out with you, to have a picnic, to see a play, to make pancakes? To do something you both enjoy and can share? You’d have a much better argument if you were to say “Next Tuesday I really want to do X with you, I know it’ll cut into video game time, but it’s just for a day.”
You can't just say "I want from 4pm to 7pm to do the exact same shit we do every day from 7pm to 10pm AND I want you to want it too!" That is never going to work, and it shouldn’t work. That’s just needy and demanding in the worst sort of way.
You see a hell of a lot of each other. It's not unreasonable for him to go home and have, between chores and talking to his parents and such, probably only about 2 hours to himself before seeing you again. In fact, it’s probably a large part of what keeps him sane and happy in your relationship. As an introverted person myself, I need to be alone for an hour or two a day or I snap.
Stop trying to intrude on that time just because having would make you feel special-er.
If you want to break the routine, make a plan for special time for the both of you to share, whether it eats into video games or not. You don’t have a problem with the quantity of time you spend together, just with the quality. So figure out some quality things you’d like to do, and ask him to join you.
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