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He knows it was hurtful but said it anyway.
I texted my boyfriend asking him how the bus was, and he said, "It's cool. Looking at other girls breasts. They're pulling them out of their shirts." My sensitive side took over. I instantly got upset. I am a very sensitive person, and he knows it. We've been dating for three months now and I know I shouldn't take his playful attitude so seriously, but he went too far. He knows I am insecure and emotional and easily upset but he says those types of hurtful things that make me want to cry.
In a way I know I should accept his teasing and quirky jokes, but my emotional side takes over me. I told him I don't like how he jokes like that and he needs to stop. I don't know what to do. I'm happy with him and I don't want to lose him because of my paranoid mind. Help?
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I think that's a terrible thing to say to someone that's emotionally sensitive. I am the worst person in the world for having a somewhat improper sense of humor about things but I strive to be careful about what I say to whom.
It all comes down to respect and caring for one another. If he's intentionally going out of his way to say something to hurt you then why would you worry about losing something like that.
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You're not being oversensitive- that's really not an acceptable thing to say to your girlfriend, especially when you haven't been together very long. It's not a 'playful attitude', it's immaturity and jerkiness, and chances are that if you don't make it clear to him that disrespectful comments like that are not ok, he'll just keep doing it and making you miserable.
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It's not funny. What he said wasn't a quirky joke. It was stupid.
Okay, so you are insecure and overreacting. That's probably true.
But please take this from a girl who is twenty six, who partners go (and she goes with em!) happily to burlesque shows and strip shows:
What he said was legitimately unfunny, immature and stupid.
You should tell him it was stupid and unfunny.
You can tell him straight up:
"Okay, I know I'm insecure and overreact sometimes, but even if I wasn't as hurt as I am by what you said, it was still an immature and unfunny thing to say.”
There are mature and honest ways to deal with the fact that yes, other people have bodies and they are attractive. But his 'joke' was about as mature as a fart joke. Unless you are dating a twelve year old, it's okay for you to expect better behavoir.
If you want permission to tell him to stop it, you have mine. That was a dumb joke - made even dumber by him insensitively lobbing it at a girlfriend he knew it would upset.
Please, tell him he upset you. Admit that you know you are overreacting, but that he still should have behaved better. Just because you aren’t absolutely perfect in your emotional reactions doesn’t mean he can do whatever he damn well pleases. Maybe it’s your mistake that your reaction is so severe, but he can make a mistake too, and he did.
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Did he do anything with those girls? Guys are guys. If you made those jokes with him, what would his reaction be? You might want to play his game. If he gets upset about it then say that you both will stop with those jokes.
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