|
guilty
17/f
I don't know why I feel guilty towards my dad today. Today is his birthday and I yelled at him, because I bought him this blu-ray DVD he's been wanting to play in his blu-ray DVD player. When he got it, he told me he didn't want it anymore and to go return it. I was angry, so I just yelled. I know it was wrong of me, I felt guilty afterwards because he came into my room and gave me green grapes, which is what I said what I wanted for my birthday, which was 3 days after his. I gave him some of my red velvet cupcake. He's not angry anymore, but I still feel really guilty. Maybe also because when I'm 18 years old, my mom and him are divorcing because so none of them would have to pay for child support, but not just that. My dad wouldn't be receiving anymore government money to take care of me. The social security is going to start putting money in my bank directly, so my dad is leaving the house after my parents divorce. I feel terrible, literally. I don't know what to do.
Help??
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
I'm old enough to be your grandfather and I believe you wrote to us and I answered you on the subject of your parents divorce. As to his birthday present.
First In my opinion your father was wrong to say he no longer wanted the DVD. If he had not said something how were you to know. He should have accepted the DVD in the spirit in which it was given and thanked you for your thoughtful gift. Since it was something he no longer wanted he could have returned it himself and selected something else.
As for you yelling at him: I think given the circumstances of the circumstances surrounding the soon to change family dynamics it is understandable that you would get upset at your dads less than grateful acceptance of your birthday gift from him.
The fact that dad did buy you and give to you the gift you were looking for; tells me he understands your feelings. Your dad is probably also feeling the same stressors you are about upcoming events and understands why you yelled.
While I do not think your father is expecting or wanting an apology from you, I think you will feel better if you were to apologize. You could say something to the effect; Dad I'm sorry I yelled at you I really shouldn't have and probably wouldn't have if it were not for what is about to happen to us.
I believe that should you say something to the effect of what I have written not only will you feel better but dad too will understand.
I'm going to add information her that I may have left out of my last answer to you; as you have provided information I do not remember seeing in your last letter to us.
Is it possible your parents are divorcing strictly for financial reasons and not because they have fallen out of love for each other.
Their are financial benefits to divorce that are not available to a married couple. Such as the direct deposit of aid to you from social security. There are also medical benefits to someone that may be sick or disabled that would not be available to a married couple.
Your parents may not have told you the real reason for their divorce if their sole purpose was or is to take advantages of government programs not available to married couples. My sister and her husband are looking into divorcing for just that reason as my brother in-law has contract MS. As a married couple they would have to go bankrupt before certain programs would kick in to help with his care when he would require full time nursing type care. As a single or divorced person that care would start as soon as it becomes necessary.
As I said this is just a thought I had based on the additional information I see in today's letter.
]
It was fine to be mad and you obviously know yelling at him wasn't the best thing to do.
My dad is the same way. For Christmas my mom got my dad something he said he wanted but he changed his mind and they had to go return it. I was mad too.
Anyway, it's fine to feel guilty. It's normal and now you learned that if something ever comes up like this again, you can handle it differently.
You and your dad are fine now so just put it in the past and go on. It'll be fine.
]
You had every right to be mad. You worked hard to find the perfect gift and he was completely unappreciative of that. Youre also under alot of stress which is why you probably tweaked. So cut yourself a break, and also remember your parents divorce is not your problem. Its not up to you to fix nor will what you do change it. Just let your dad know that whatever happens your still his daughter and that you will always help him. The rest is in gods hands not yours so give yourself some slack.
]
More Questions: |