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College Roommates
20/F This Fall, I'll be going to a local University to work towards a Bachelor's Degree. I am going to live in a 4-person dorm and we each get our own rooms. I do not know the people I'll be living with. They will be chosen at random. Can you guys please provide me with your experience of living with roommates? Also, did you guys take the time to "get to know each other" or did it just kind of happen? This is my first time living away from home, so any input will help. Thanks!
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I'm nearing the end of my first year of university and I share an apartment with four others - two guys and two other girls. We have our own rooms and en suite bathrooms and we share an open plan kitchen/living area.
I get on well with one of the girls and the other girl is fine too but I've had alot of issues with the guys. I have at least two friends who also don't get on with many of their flatmates - one of them doesn't really speak to any of them. I don't know anyone who gets on with ALL their flatmates and the likelihood is there will be someone in yours that at least gets on your nerves. You get thrown together with people and they probably won't be the kind of people you'd usually choose as friends. Sometimes that's a good thing but don't let it get to you if you're not all best friends. Most of the friends you make at university will be people on your course or in any sports clubs/societies you join. Having said that, I also know people who love their flatmates and are living with them again next year.
My flatmates and I tried to 'bond' in some part. We went out and bought a bin because our apartment didn't have one then we all decorated it and signed it. In my friend's apartment, they bought a big canvas and all took turns drawing each other then hung it on the wall. Things like that are nice as they break the ice and you have something in your apartment that you've made together. With the girl I get on well with though, we just kind of clicked.
Next year I'm moving into a house with one other girl and two guys, none of whom I am living with now. I'm looking forward to it because it'll be nice to live with people I know I get on with and who are more 'my kind of people'. Just remember that you will only have to live with these people for a year and if you really don't get on with them, it's not forever. If they turn out to be horrible and there are serious issues, you can request to be moved - something I was seriously considering at the beginning as one of the guys in my flat is so unpleasant.
Also bear in mind that this is a really important life experience. There are always going to be people - whether that be at work, within your family or on your course - who you don't like and learning to put up with them is a really important skill to gain. It's also a good opportunity to socialise with people you wouldn't necessarily choose to spend time with. I would never have met the flatmate I get on with in any other circumstances as we're quite different and would move in different circles but I've made a good friend in her.
Go in with a positive attitude and an open mind and don't beat yourself up if they don't turn out to be lifelong friends.
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I'm a freshman and I have a roommate whom I share a 13x13ish room with.
Just know that you don't by any means have to be best friends with your roommate(s). You certainly can be, and it's nice if you are, but if all you are to each other is roommates, that's fine.
People often make the mistake of thinking that they have to hang out with their roommates all the time, and for awhile it might work, but eventually you will get sick of them. There will be fights, etc.
I guess it's all about balance. Don't go in expecting anything, really. Just go with the flow and see what happens.
--Jack
(19/m)
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Well, I can tell you that your living situation will be better than mine was! I shared an 8x8 room with another girl. We were total strangers when we moved in together. We had filled out information sheets so that we could be paired by habits (tidy, messy, night owl, early bird, etc.)
I found that by the end of the week we were really good friends. The university will run a ton of group activities for both your faculty and your dorm building, so there's no problem getting to know people. Even if you're not great friends with your roomies, there's still a whole building of people who you'll be close to within a few months.
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