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Insensitive Gift: What do I do?
At a recent anniversary celebration for my parents, a well-meaning but thoughtless in-law sent them a gift from my deceased sister, with a card signed with her name. She died of cancer two years ago.
Her loss has been difficult and heartbreaking for all of us, especially my parents. I am furious at this guest for giving such a "gift." My parents were visibly shocked, but thanked the person anyway.
I knew the in-law was planning something like this, and I asked that it not be done at the party. I wish I had just said, "No! Don't do it!" I'm not sure whether I am madder at the gift giver or myself. I feel like the work we have done to recover from the loss has been set back. I could use some good advice.
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i agrree with marinemom24 to a point that person had no right to do that at the party though she/he should have waited till the end to present that gift to your parents when they were alone
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Try to view the gift by the intention in which it was given. Did the gift-giver think it would be a beautful gesture that would make your parents think fondly of their deceased daughter? Or was it meant as a cruel reminder of your sister's death? Hopefully it was the former and not the latter. I don't think you should spend alot of time dwelling on this. It's not productive for any of you. You can't change the fact that the gift was given. Try instead to remember your sister as she was in life and the good times you all had. I hope you can all heal and move forward. Good luck.
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Personally, I'd be offended and take it as if they were joking about a loss. They don't understand your situation and to them, their gift seemed thoughtful and creative. It's best to avoid it and keep recovering.
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