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How can I stop debating everything?
I feel like its a part of my personality.. like I like to think things out rationally.. and I love to argue when I know I'm right, and ask questions so I can learn new things and what not. But I know it can be annoying to people, so how can I suppress such urges to not just talk about things in a nonchalant way? I tend to talk about topics deeply.. and the next you'll see me just joking about something silly. I want to act more lady-like and less offensive to someone else who may differ in opinion. And I don't want people to think I'm aggressive or anything. I'm just trying to become a better person by educating myself, as well as educate others by proving what they're saying is wrong with facts. Ugh maybe that's my problem right there. How do I fix this? thanks! I'm 17 btw.
I'm normally a chatty person and sometimes I say things at impulse.. and wish I was one of those people who are more mysterious and say mostly what's need to be said. I find that admirable. So how do I become this way?
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I agree - a debate team of some kind would be brilliant for you. Being rational and having a thirst for knowledge is nothing to be ashamed of at all, I myself am quite similar and cannot resist an argument at times. There is nothing which isn't "lady-like" about your personality, and as for being offensive, it depends who you're talking to. There are many people who will behave similarly and so arguing with them about topics will have no effect because they like to do it too - they may be right under your nose.
I also find those kinds of people admirable, and although I do harness my opinionated self at times, you can't change who you are. Be proud of it! It's a great quality to have, and often those people who are shy or afraid of saying what they think will admire YOU.
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Why do you have to change?
You've got that type of a brain, so use it! Does your school offer any debate opportunities? Have you considered law as a profession? Look at Portia in the play The Merchant of Venice, she had those skills. You can do all of that and still be "lady like".
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Most of us, are very impulsive...The difference is that some of us choose to have an active mind,
rather than being overy chatty....Most of the
communication problems that we have come from
speaking into bad energy.....When we speak to people , most of the time we expect them to speak on the same emotional level, that we are speaking on. In other words, if we are happy about our poetic interests, then we want the other person to be just as happy as we are....This is almost never the cituation.Humans are naturally evasive; meaning that humans love to disagree....We as men are masters of disagreeing....Most of the time, allowing a person's gender to control the context of the conversation, clears bad energy....If you are speaking to a guy, use guy criteria, in order to control the tempo of the conversation.....
Example:your partner, comes home from a long day at a dental practice....Now you, as a woman probably, would be glad to hear from your partner for that day....This is good....Now let's say that you purchased a new outfit from the mall....
Obviously a woman probably would conversate about her partner's day, as normal....
Trust me your partner will sense your, lack or sincerety as it pertains to his day....This will
lead his negativity, as you conversate about
your new outfit....Initially the lack of true concern may not have a negative result, but a pattern will be secretly revealed to him....In order to avoid causing a source of bad energy, just leave, such an insugnificant thing as a new outfit, away from the conversation for that day and concentrate completely on making him feel superior....Later on in the week, when it comes up casually within the confounds of your conversation with your partner, just mention it as if it has no importance....He will probably to see you in the outfit at this point....As long as he is giving you complements that he feels you diserve, you will not gain negative energy within the cituation.......We as men love to provide joy as well as lead all areas of importance for our lives......This way will enhance your femanine light...Eventually you will gain a calm, tollerant energy....Your partner will grow madly in love with the peaceful, wisdomous vibrations eminating from your inner self....Love men's emotions as if it were all that you aspire to know of....I know this seems a little from the dark ages, but not so....Femaninity can be very powerful, when it is the corner stone of a loving caring relationship.........Charles knowledge.
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Lady like? Please don't sell yourself short. Don't give into society's misguided ideas that women can't be opinionated while remaining "lady like". Women can be just as strong as men while getting their opinions across. Strong men are viewed as "real men" while strong women are viewed merely as "bitches" and that's just wrong. Okay, now I'll get off my soap box and really answer your question :) There is nothing wrong with voicing how you feel about things. There is a place for people like you in society. Politics, advocate groups, and more all need people who are good at debating important issues and winning people over to their point of view. Don't ever back down from what you believe simply because you don't want to appear aggressive or overbearing. It doesn't sound like you're being malicious. Its sounds like you simply have strong opinions and that's a good thing. I'm very much like that and it's been my personal opinion that people are going to enjoy your refreshing candor or resent it (usually because you've hit a nerve and pointed out a character flaw). So be it then. Continue being yourself. You'll be better off for it. Hope this helps!
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