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dealing with a friendship break up
a little while back i posted this question:
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and well nothing has changed. granted, i never ended up expressing to her how i feel. she has moved out of our apartment to go home and be with her "boyfriend", although she does still have a room here to come back to whenever. now this guy, she is still not "officially" with him, and he has already "broken up" with her twice so i really dont understand the hype. anyway, since she moved back a little over a month ago, we have hardly spoken. she has become "best friends" as she says with her boyfriends friends and a couple of girls from high school that she was friends with before and i haven't heard much from her. she posts on my facebook and things like that saying how she misses me, but whenever she calls or texts or chats with me, it is still always about her and her boyfriend or his friends. i dont get much of a word in and i honestly think she is not concerned with me at all, she just wants someone to listen to her. im just so sick of i'm pretty much at the point of just accepting that fact that while she's with this guy, we're not going to be friends and weeding her out of my life bc its just not worth the drama of bringing it up to her now that she's 230 miles away from me and most likely not coming back. my question is, how do you go about letting go of a best friend that you have been joined at the hip with for the past 3 or 4 years? i'm friendly and outgoing so i have a few other good friends, but none as close as she and i were. the past 3 years, especially our senior year & first years of college, we would talk all day every day and were basically twins. when we lived at home or were home for summer, we were together everyday, did everything together. how do you let that go? furthermore, next summer i am moving & transferring to a school another 40ish miles away from home than where im at now, to a city where i know nobody. im SO excited for it, but im scared about doing that without having her to talk to daily to help me get through it and adjust. my boyfriend will be moving with me, so i wont be completely alone, but its just not the same as having your rock there with you. i feel like i have lost a significant part of my life. i hung out with her and a few other people after christmas, and it just doesn't feel the same at all bc i feel like i have emotionally withdrawn from her due to not having a real "best friend" these last several months. i just feel betrayed and replaced. any advice for how to let her go? sorry for the length.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I read both posts and I'm sorry to hear that you've had to endure another long month of the same nonsense. Having gone thorough life and several best friends.... its not the "easiest" task but it's really not that bad once "you" decide what's needs to be done. However, yea the point of starting best friendships, is to keep them intacted for life. However people, objectives change and they outgrow or forget the reasons these "primitive" things like friendship existed in the first place. I mean, I don't believe for one second that ur friend is sooooooo aloof or involved in her relationship to not know that's she annoying the hell out of you... I would suggest deleting her after your move and let her marinate in the juices she so obvious needs to be placed and talk about so much. Maybe in the future, as your lives unwind. you'll be able to retreat into the conversations you should have already been having for future understandings... Enjoy your future...
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