Question Posted Wednesday November 17 2010, 2:33 am
i'm 20, in college, and live with my best friend of 3 years and two other girls. over the summer, before we lived together, she started dating this guy, and ever since that day, that is ALL i have heard about. i have no problem living with her at all, other than the fact that she talks about him 24/7 and i have no escape. its been a good 4 or 5 months since they've been dating [unofficially, mind you], and i thought all the talk about him would subside after a few weeks, but no. morning, afternoon, and night that is ALLLL i hear about. what her boyfriend said, what he is doing, what his mama is doing, what his mama said, what job he's doing at the moment, where he's at, blah blah blah blah. not only do i hear her talk about him nonstop, but i hear the same stories numerous times. and its just pointless stuff i really dont care about. she will come in my room when she's on the phone with him just to talk to him around me, or read me their texts conversations and i could really care less. he lives back home 3 hours away from where we go to school, and she'll go home every weekend to see him and text me ABOUT him while she's WITH him! it is honestly to the point that simply hearing his name makes me want to punch a hole in the wall bc she cant have a conversation that doesnt revolve around him. very rarely does she ask me about my life, and when she talks about him i am constantly trying to change the subject or will just flat out ignore her, but she just cant seem to get the hint. our other friends including one of our roommates are sick of it too, and one of them flat out told her she doesn't care, but me being the "best friend" i hear about it the most and at this point i really just want to pull my hair out. i have a boyfriend of my own who is wonderful, so its not that im jealous, i just want my best friend back. the one who i could have a normal conversation with, the one who i could hang out with and have fun with without her being a stick in the mud all night cuz she'd rather be with her boyfriend. at the end of the summer she went to the beach with me and my family, and i was excited because we normally are crazy and have soo much fun, but it was just miserable bc the whole time she was talking/texting her boyfriend and telling him how she just wanted to go home and would rather be with him. like she has NO life outside of him anymore. she's moving back home next semester to go be with him, and a part of me is sad because i feel like i'm losing or have already lost my best friend, but the other part of me doesn't care because if i honestly had to hear about him nonstop for another whole semester, i would seriously lose my cool. we're 20 years old, i thought this nonsense was supposed to be left in high school, but obviously i was wrong. i haven't said anything to her about it cuz i want to support her. i'm thrilled that she's happy with him and all that but im just SOOOOO INCREDIBLY SICK of hearing about it day and night. im just kind of worried about the confrintation because we've never had a fight [although i recently hear that she's been talking about me behind my back to my roommate, which doesnt surprise me since she's the kind of person who will say one thing to your face and another behind your back, but once again, i thought that should be left in high school, and she used to not be that way when we first became friends] and i don't wanna lose my best friend. sorry for the length, i'm just really at my wits end here! help!?
Additional info, added Wednesday November 17 2010, 2:39 am: *OH and i will point out that on the rare occassion that she does ask about my life or i try to tell her about something, she will either cut me off mid sentence talking about her boyfriend, like she did the other day and i just about lost it, or she will just completely tune me out and start playing on her phone texting him or whatever and not hear a word i say. its not just me, she does it to our other friends too, but i think it drives me the craziest cuz i'm really the one that has to deal with it the most. ughhh. Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship? chevybab answered Wednesday November 17 2010, 5:41 am: As much as you dont want to fight with her you need to tell her how you feel.Tell her you miss your best friend,that even though she has a boyfriend there is an entire world out side of him.Just let her know you would like her to take an intrest in your life.That its not a friendship if your the only one doing the listening.Remind her that you do care some what about her relationship but you dont want to hear about it all the time.And if reason dosnt work then you have lost her for now.Trust me just because shes gone now doesnt mean shes lost forever.If shes really your friend she will understand if not then im sorry she just loast a great friend.All friends say things behind your back and most of the time they really dont mean it its just there way of letting off steam. [ chevybab's advice column | Ask chevybab A Question ]
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