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How do I make a move with my friend?
Hey everyone, I am really desperate (I really am) and I need some advice!
I'll try to make long story short. I'm 20 years old and my best friend is 15. I've known her since childhood but we've been friends for about four years now. I sort of fell in love with her soon after our first play-date; she was 11 at the time. It took me about a year to tell her how I felt and I didn't get much of a positive feedback. At first she didn't like the idea at all but she couldn't stop thinking about it. She told me many times it was never gonna happen. She had always wanted a brother and she found one in me... But as time was passing I couldn't help but notice she felt something for me as well. Most of the time, though, I wasn't sure whether it was just my misinterpretation of her 'brotherly emotions'. Anyway, I was always too afraid to make a move and see where I'm standing. I didn't even know if I was SUPPOSED to make a move or wait for her to do it first. I had never had any experience with girls before. So now, four years later, things are still the same.
Almost the same actually!
In the past six months she has given me some clear signs that she wanted to be more than friends. We sometimes talk or text about it, she tells me it may be a good idea for us to be together, but then she backs off! A couple of times she even said she loved me. She also said there were times in the past when she wouldn't have backed off if I'd tried to kiss her...
The worst thing was when we 'cuddled' on this bench in park. I found her literally lying in my lap after a while and we almost held hands! But despite the OBVIOUS sign - I was gutless to do anything about it! And I hate myself for that till this very day!
So I have missed some perfect opportunities and now I'm not sure if it's too late! I also don't get to see her very often so when I do - I need to be ready to make a move! But I don't know if I will be! So what do I do? And how do I do it? I’m just really afraid something could go wrong… but at the same time I know I might be letting something great slip! I wish I could just knock on her door on a random day and go for it! But I don’t know if she will be in the mood… So I’m really freaking out. Time is passing and I’m just standing still.
I’d appreciate it if you could tell me SOMETHING that I don’t know. Anything! A word of advice of encouragement! Whatever you think might help me pound on an opportunity!
Well, that’s about it…
I guess I didn’t make the long story short after all.
Thanks in advance.
PS: Don't give me any of that 'she's too young' crap. I'm not asking to have sex with her, just to date her.
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Please, please, please don't take advantage of her. You seem sweet and upstanding but just keep in mind that she is younger and a lot of people will probably have a problem with the two of you together.
That said, though, let her come to you. Wait for her to make a move or to hint VERY strongly that she wants you to so you don't do something stupid and ruin the relationship forever. The "door on a random day" idea is cute but too chancy.
Just put her in a position where, if she wants to make a move, she will, and let the chips fall where they may. Good luck.
-Pax
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the best thing to do is be confident, even if your not a confident person just be it, dont over do it, but yea a girl likes a bloke to be in control and more than likey shes more shy than you :) so you take her out somewhere, doesnt have to be a touchy feely date or anything but do tell her how you feel and ask does she want be with you as a couple at the end of the night :)
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I love your story I think it's sweet lol(: and I understand about your problem, I would try asking her to hang out then maybe buy her something like a stuffed animal or Flowers, then I would be honest to her even if somethings may be brutley honest and could make her a lttle mad but she will get over it! Now I am thirteen but hey I am a girl so I know alot how she feels, by reading what you said it seems likes its not that she wants you all as a "brother" figure, it's just like me I always like to have older boys as friends and call them my brother and things it idk just feels good to be able to say that, like take into consideration, does this girl actualy have an older brother, or if she does are they close maybe not, that could be one thing why she wants to call you her brother figure, so I think after you ask her to hang out and maybe buy her something tell her the truth and that you really like her and express to her that you know that she looks up to you as a brother but honestly if you went out that you would still be lke a brother that you would still care for her and protect her but there would just be kissing
(:, I think you'll be great just do what I said I think she will really fall for you(: and things will work out great! I know I would like a guy to do that for me! So I bet she will like it! Good luck! if you have any questions feel free to ask. -Madison
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Well you should probably tell her how you feel and how much you need her in your life. Just take action in what you do. Don't wait for her... don't wait for anything. Call her up, make a date, ask her out do something about it. Girls like it when you take action because it shows interest and it shows that you like them more than ever. You shouldn't be afraid of ruining anything. Because I don't think you will lose anything great you might gain something even better. You will still have her no matter what. Just take action and hopefully she will feel more comfortable about it and about you. Don't expect her to do anything because she more than likely won't. I wish you the best there is :)
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Alright, to start I should say that her behavior can be attributed to her age mostly. 15 year old girls often have trouble expressing themselves as it comes with emotional maturity. But she is old enough to know what you want and whether or not she's willing to give it a try.
With that out of the way I now have to say, the best way to go about it is to be somewhat blunt. Due to your previous experiences with her you will have to say to her... I like/love you (not for me to say) and I would love to try us as a couple, then give her time and space don't pressure her she will pick what's right for both of you.
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