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Friend Zone Lifestyle
So I just got out of a two year relationship that started my junior year of High School. I took it with me to college, all through 1st semester, and now during break I knew it was time to end it. It was a very unstable/unhealthy relationship for both of us. It took a lot out of me, and its been a long time since I've been myself. I'm happy to start discovering who I am again.
However, during my 1st semester in college I have become friend with a few new guys, two of which specifically seem to have fallen in love with me.
They are both so different, yet they are both very good friends of mine, both wonderful in their own way, and both very in love with me. Obviously not in love, but very infatuated I should say. One of them tells me stuff like: you light up my day, are very special to me and changed my views and are the most beautiful person ive ever seen.
This is all over the whole time I've known him. Hes just so sweet to me. The other one is brilliant and has helped me so much, but I always hear from people that know him that he loves me. We have fantastic talks.
My problem now is I don't know what to do with these boys. I know they are both going to try to get closer to me now that they know im single once school starts back up. And I don't mind that I love having guy friends but how close can I allow them to get before they start demanding more. I love them both dearly but I am not even close to being ready for a new relationship. I am rediscovering who I am, and I worry that the more I am friends with them the more they will want.
How should I handle this situation as to make sure to still keep my friendships, but not have to be put in a situation where I have to choose a relationship?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Well yeah you're right, at some point one or both will probably want something more, though I'm much more keen on the word request rather than demand. Here's the thing, guys tend to be far better at handling this sort of awkwardness than girls are. If one of them comes onto you, and you say that you aren't ready for a relationship but would like to stay friends, he's gonna take it to heard and make a genuine attempt. Sure, you might notice him lingering an extra second or two on a hug, but as long as you were being genuine about being friends and don't let things get awkward on your end the friendship should survive.
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First, I'd like to say, you certainly are a very mature, intelligent young lady! You realized it was time to end your 2 year relationship and did so. Now you recognize that you need some valuable "me time". What you've written here is clear and well thought out. I suggest you tell these young men exactly what you've said here. Taking it slow and giving yourself time to heal after ending a long relationship is the best thing for you right now. Explain it just as you have here. If these guys love you as they say they'll understand and respect that. Keep them as close friends, of course, but keep things like that for awhile. Hope this helps somewhat. Good luck!
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