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Daughter is not able to invite all her friends for a birthday outing
We are keeping my daughter's birthday low-key this year. I told her she could take a friend out to dinner and she managed to convince me to allow three friends to go out for dinner. She had already chosen two friends (and had told them about it...) and was trying to decide on the third. We live on a street where she plays with two of the neighbor girls a good bit, but when she asked if she could invite one of the girls, I said she couldn't invite one without inviting the other and at this point, don't want this to turn into a birthday 'party' but rather just a way to celebrate her, so I don't want a bunch of girls out to dinner. So my dilemma is - do I need to mention it to the two moms on the street? I don't want their daughter's feelings to be hurt and wonder if I should just say nothing at all?
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Outside of not wanting to deal with it yourself, I don't really see the point at which three turning into four really makes it a "party".
Maybe if you'd provided some reasons as to why you want to keep it "low key" the situation would be understandable. As it is, it just seems like an arbitrary limit. What's the lesson here?
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I would veto the dinner out idea. Tell your daughter that you're not up to dealing with parents of other kids who may have felt left out. Instead have her, the three friends and those likely to feel hurt otherwise over.
Get whatever food they want as take-out to enjoy at home letting your daughter know that paying for more than 2 others when you eat in is too expensive.
You might want low-key this year but a modest gathering of about 5-10 kids and firm on on more and your daughter's favorite take out is sufficient enough to please them.
Saying nothing at all and going with the original plan is going to hurt your daughter because of resentment and cause tension at school. Been there, done that and know what it means to the kid passed over. That's how they'll see it.
Even if you invited people for cake, presents etc. only you would still get grief over the dinner even if you told them it was something the three of them decided to do together and not mention who paid.
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Hi,
I think you should have your daughters friends over only for a few hours. Just tell the mothers that there was a change in plans and you would still like them to come over, but only for a while. That way, your daughter will have time with her friends on her birthday and you will still be able to celebrate Her day the way you wanted. This also guarantees your daughter will be happy and you won't be frustrated trying to figure more things out. If you say nothing, things will happen the way your daughter wants/already told people. Having a few friends over doesn't mean its a "party" for se. I can see how if you invite one girl, the other has to be invited too... thats how my life went with friends. Have them over for a few hours, then spend the rest of the day as you wanted. It should work out for the best <3
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