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why is she acting like this?
help! my best friend is really mad at me and i think it is ridiculous! i'm 18/f
ok so one day i was home alone and called my boyfriend to talk and he said he was getting coffee with a girl who is a friend. at first, i got really jealous and mad. then i realized i was being selfish because i went to get coffee with one of my friends and i guess its ok if he does the same. (i was worried he did it for revenge) but he told me it was casual so i didnt get as mad. but then i found out that he paid for her. to me- that means a guy likes a girl. to him- it meant polietness. Now i understand the fact that there are 2 personal opinons here. I told him "I understand you were doing it to be poliete, but to me it means more than that. i'd appreciate it if you didnt pay for your other girl friends" he said ok and agreed with me.
things were good after that. we made up and were just talking. then out of NO WEHRE, my best friend steps in and starts yelling at me. she talks about how it is unfair for me to treat him like that and how i'm a bossy b*tch and how she's fed up with my attitude. I sent her a text back saying "i have no idea why you are so mad. we made up and solved the problem" she didnt reply but the whole day at school she's been ignoring me. she would occasionally say one word answers like "hey" "bye" and then walks away really fast and pretends to talk on the phone.
she's just acting really rude and stupid right now. it drives me nuts because i feel like she's mad at me because i have my own personal opinon. my opinon is to have my boyfriend not pay for another girl. thats my OPINION. i didnt demand him to stop. i didnt command him to never pay for a girl again. i just said- it bothers me that you do that. It just doesn't make sense why she's so mad at me, all because my opinon isn't the same as hers.
its like me liking chocolate and she likes vanilla, and me getting mad that she doesn't like chocolate. its stupid! she has a different opinon than me (which is fine. i really dont care if she doesnt agree with me on things all the time) but it just annoys me that she would ignore me and b*tch me out like that all because i view something different than her...
what do i do?
Everytime we have a fight, I try to talk to her about it and try to make her realize my point of view. but that doesn't work because we always end up fighting and arguing. there have been a few times when we almost ended our friendship. but i really don't want that.. she is the type of best friend that i can't find in another girl. especially in my town. she makes me happy and i feel myself around her. i don't want to lose her as my best friend but it just drives me NUTS that she gets so mad at my opinions. If i try to talk to her about it, she'll just get even more mad and yell at me some more.
should i just ignore her and let her come to me? *sigh* thanks.
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Well everybody in the has their own opioion to something it sounds to me she wants you to agree with her and if you dont then she is mad. I think you should to talk to her biefly about it and say in a clam vocie that if she ezpects everyone in to agree with her than she has a long life of argueingg. Otherwise before you talk to her i think you should just let her clam down you Know before you talk to her the mader she is when you talk to her the less clear and open she will be. Good Luckk
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Ignore her.
Its fine to say "It's my opinion." but that doesn't change the fact that other people are allowed to find your opinions offensive. For example, some people have the opinion that homosexuals are immoral and mentally ill. That's an opinion I find disgusting. I would have a hard time not telling a person how revolting and wrong I found their opinion if they told that to me, and I wouldn't want to be the friend of someone who held that opinion.
Your friend found your opinion really offensive. Her response was probably based on a lot of things, including what you said right at that moment and maybe her own bitchiness as well. Honestly, I’m a little disappointed in your boyfriend for not telling you to get over it. You are entitled to your opinion, but his behaviour was fine, and he shouldn’t have to change it based on groundless jealousy.
And it is jealousy. You can call it ‘meaningful’ all you want – it’s all just jealously and insecurity in the end. And that can be an unpleasant thing to see in a friend.
If her anger over your opinions is bothering you this much, then your only real option is to end the friendship, or just wait for it to blow over. She might have over-reacted, but it was fair of her to be disappointed and unhappy with your treatment of your boyfriend. She is allowed to have that opinion, and to express it. Loudly. It might not be polite, but it is allowed. If you want to be this girls friend, you have to accept she’s got opinions, and sometimes, bad ways of sharing them.
If you don't like the way she shares them, your other option is ending the friendship.
Wait it out and see if she comes around. If she doesn’t, it’s probably best for the both of you. If she does, it’ll probably go back to being the same as it was before. It doesn't sound like either of your are especailly great at backing down from fights, so you'll keep fighting.
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