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i need your advice: my sister is neglecting her family
Hi I'm a 20 yr/F. the problem that's occurring in my family is that my sister is neglecting her family. she is 21yrs old and in love with this guy who is 19 yrs old. i have no problem if she likes him or not, but she is totally obsesses with him. she cant stop thinking about him. the main point is that they're just friends. she always tells everyone that oh we're just friends. she always calls him 24/7 and always goes to visit him. she lives with me and our parents and doesn't give our parents respect. she always tells them lies and she occasionally steals money from them. just for this guy. and whenever she would go out to see him she wouldn't come back till 4 in the morning. i know u guys think that oh shes 21 and that she has her freedom, but she's dependent on our parents. and our religion does not allow smoking and drinking which she does and lies striaght to my parenbts face while shes drunk. i really need your help...please help me solve this problem. how can we keeep her under control cause shes totally out of it..??
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Hello.
Well it seems to me, that you do care if she likes him or not. But i see your problem.
You can go about trying to calm down what she does a few different ways.
1: You can tell your parents to try to talk to her. Tell your parents to tell her that, as long as she lives under their roof and is dependent on them, that she needs to tone it down a bit.
2: Or you can talk to her yourself. Usually siblings help more than parents do in a situation like this. Tell her that you just thought that the boy she's hanging around with is just a friend. Talk to her about her drinking and smoking and lying habits. Usually, when people do this, there is a deeper problem they don't want to deal with. Try helping her solve whatever it is on her mind.
Best of luck xx
-Uniqueme.
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It's your parent's job to set and enforce rules while she lives in their house.
It sucks for you if they are bad at that, but it's not your place to interfere, and you can’t solve these problems.
She is getting away with this because she is being allowed to get away with this. She is entitled to being obsessed with a boy and to staying out late, and to not following her family’s religion. She is even allowed to be rude. Your parents are allowed to discipline her and/or kick her out.
It’s tough to live in a household where the parents aren’t taking control, or are putting up with things when they should actually be pushing the young adult out. But there is nothing you can do as their child to help them be better parents. If your parents are upset or stressed, recommend they go to counselling or speak to a religious leader to help them come up with a plan of attack.
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She needs to be told...mainly by your parents, that so long as she is living under their roof, she has to abide by their rules. The only 21 year olds with freedom are those who go to work and live in their own place.
There isn't a lot you can do about her constant talk of this guy she likes. I guess you could tell her you are sick of hearing about him. I doubt it would do any good though.
So, she needs to be told to either get a job and move out, or respect those who are putting a roof over her head and feeding her every day. Simple as that. Your parents need to be prepared to boot her out the door if she continues the bad behavior.
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well she lives under their roof right? so she needs to follow those rules or leave. i think you need to discuss this with your parents. I think they need to give her consequences take her phone and car away. As for this boy you don't know if he likes her not, eventually he'll get sick of her calling him and tell her to move on. Your sister needs a wake up call, because all this lying, stealing, drinking, and smoking, is going to get her into some serious trouble. she needs to respect your parents. after you talk to your parents they need to talk to her calmly, and need to tell her they know everything, and her behavior is unacceptable. i hate saying kids go through this, because i went through a phase where i did stupid things that got me in trouble, but i grew up, learned from my mistakes, and i don't do things behind my parents backs, because i know they'll be disappointed in me, and they won't be able to trust me again. i hope i helped. please inbox me and let me know how everything goes.
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My best advise is to stop her maybe an intervinstion, maybe you should let her go and see how far she gets with out you or your parents see if she has no money no place to stay but with him and see how she feels when she has to live off of the 19n y/o boy the things she does is just for attention she wants your parents to know that she can do better but she can't come back from where shes at, let her know that she is loved and if she wants to be with someone who you don't know will take care with you if your parents gave up on her. let her do as she will but, mom and dad dont give her anything but your love and compassion let her know that this is the line let her know that we dont care if you have fun but you are not going to mooch off of us and treat us like we are pack mule tell her that what goes around comes around show her that you dont care at first but dnt let her know that you do see how far she can make it without you and your parenst im only 14 and i have way more since than most adults no offence . but if she can treat the three most important people in her family like when i walk you bow. and even the most important your parents the she has gone to far. that relationship is putting her head in the wrong place. Thanks
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Well to tell you the truth, since she is 21 it is harder to control her. But since your sister is dependent on your parents, your parents can cut her off if she does not change her behavior.
hope this helps. :)
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