Question Posted Wednesday November 3 2010, 8:02 pm
When I was younger, I was molested for 2 years by my stepbrother. A year after, my boyfriend cheated on me, and my last boyfriend only wanted to date me because he wanted sex. I have always had trouble trusting guys, and I always am awkward and scared around them - even my own dad. It's hard for me to get close to a guy, and I've always thought that they were all the same. How do I get around this?
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship? liloprah answered Thursday November 4 2010, 4:55 pm: i'm so sorry for what happend to you thats awful but you must move on and forgive your abuser so that you can be free. The truth is MOST MEN are selfish and the lie especially the young ones. So its up to you to put your foot down don't trust anyone male or female too quickly. Get to know really get to know who they are and listen to your gutt when you feel something is off about somone, when that little voice is saying don't trust.... listen to it. I don't know how old you are so i can't tell you exactly how to go about this but every man is not the same. If you are young for example 15 to 21 forget about it don't trust shit that comes out guys mouth cause around that age they are mostly full of shit and need time to mature. if you are older you can put you guard down a little. take it slow and get to know people and the way you judge people will come more easilly to you. [ liloprah's advice column | Ask liloprah A Question ]
russianspy1234 answered Wednesday November 3 2010, 11:15 pm: Don't judge us by our worst specimens (this goes for electriclime as well). I haven't really found any difference in trustworthiness between guys and girls. It's not even true that all most guys want is sex, however it is true that most guys want sex, its not prioritized as high as media would have you believe. You went through a traumatic experience, have you considered getting counseling? I know it's not for everyone, but something to think about. Thinking all guys are the same because a few were horrible is kinda sexist anyway. [ russianspy1234's advice column | Ask russianspy1234 A Question ]
ElectricLime answered Wednesday November 3 2010, 8:42 pm: Being molested is certainly not a healthy thing to experience. If you haven't told anyone about this, you should. He could grow up and do it to someone else.
However, I'm not going to sugar coat this for you.
Most guys DO only want sex, but not ALL of them. I have had tons of guy friends, for years, and after they found out that I wasn't sexually attracted to them, we stopped being friends. While I'm hurt, I also realize that men (and women) are simply animals. We are biologically wired to want to have sex. Some men can't help it.
However my past two boyfriends did not just want me for sex. One wanted all of me, (as in personality and sex) and the other didn't even want sex. And the one I have now likes all of me as well. These are the types of guys who are really picky and won't just date someone to have sex with them, because they just can't. They need the girl to have a connection with them & a personality.
There are guys who will really commit to you, trust me. You will just have to put yourself out there, don't waste your time on the guys who just want you for sex. You'll know if they do or don't. Just move on until you find a guy who's worth your time.
Don't be awkward and scared around them though. They are just people like you. I'm sure you would be confused if someone was scared around you just because you're a girl.
Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content. Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.