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boyfriend won't be rough with me
Hey! I'm seventeen and my boyfriend is eighteen. So the problem is whenever we're getting physical and what not he is super super super gentle. Like to the point where it's not even enjoyable. I mean I love how tender he is but I can always feel him being all catious and careful so I feel like he's not enjoying it or with it at all and thattt turns me off. I want him to actually get into it. I've brought it up with him a few times and he says he's scared he'll hurt or "break" me. I'm like 5'5, 105 lbs and he's 6 foot and pretty built... so I mean yeah I can see how he thinks he'd hurt me but I really don't think he could do that much damage... I just want to feel his intensity and I don't but I don't know how to show him that he doesn't have to be so tentative...
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well for starters you can tell him that your not in pain. second tell him that sex is not suppose to hurt unless he deliberately tries to hurt you. tell him not to lay back and that it's o.k. for him to be rough.
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why don't you try getting on top? Then show him how you like it and be rough about it. He might realize how much he likes it that way. Maybe it'll make him be more rough, try it. :D
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The time to bring up this sort of thing is in the moment. You don't have a sit-down conversation about it, because you've done that and he seems iffy. You encourage him whilst in the throes of passion, with sexy words and demands and dirty talk and vocalizing your appreciation when he ups the ante more to your satisfaction. Positive re-enforcement works wonders.
And, just 'cause you can never say it enough today, if you have sex, use a condom!
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Talk to him!!! Again! Communication is almost always the answer.
And if verbal communication doesn't work out for you, try enticing him when things get naughty, tease him, ask him for more.
If you let yourself be comfortable he'll be able to understand your needs more and realise that he doesn't necessarily need to treat you like a hamster.
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