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What's going on with them two? :(
20 Female. I'm so sad right now, I'm sorry if this is really long I will return the favor to anyone who can give me advice I really need it :(
So I've always had a thing for my good friend Joe (He's 18, almost 19). I've known him for about 5 years now. He was dating this girl Maria for 3 years ..his first and only real relationship. Basically she got too clingy and he started getting annoyed so their senior year in high school he broke it off with her. They still hung out all the time, obviously were still having sex and people never knew they even broke up because they acted like they didn't. I think they got back together for a little bit and then broke up once again. He tells me everything and I guess she got really annoying at one point and was like "What are we joe, are we together, what are we, tell me" And he was like Maria no we're not together but she would tell everyone they still were. I know she is obsessive!! I know it's hard for him to let go of her tho because they were together for so long and she was his first true love, they lost their virginity's to each other. But people always tell me he's always had a thing for me too but won't do anything about it because of Maria and how he doesn't let go of her. His good friends tell me that he does like me too.
Well now he graduated and is playing hockey in South Dakota, about 4 hours away from where we are. He just left Sept 5. We talked before he left, and one night he texted me asking what I was doing and then I was like Joe I have a serious question to ask you, What's going on with you and Maria are you two still together? And he said, no we have been broken up. This made me happy, I knew they were broken up and I was hoping this was the end of Maria since they would be four hours away and wanting to meet new people. I told him I wanted to come visit him one time and watch him play hockey and he was like Yeah for sure!! Right before he left I said "good luck, have fun and I'll be there sometime to cheer you on. Love ya Joseph." He said Sounds fantastic thanks Linds love ya too!
I felt good leaving it like this, I was happy! Well just tonight I look on Maria's facebook and one of her friends said, Wanna hang out on Saturday? And she said I would! But I'm going to South Dakota to see Joey! I was like HELL NO! What is going on, seriously I wanted to cry. It's only been what? not even two weeks and she's already going to see him?? I know he didn't lie about them being broken up but I don't know why shes going to see him. One of my friends said Linds don't worry she probably begged him to let her come and invited herself. I think this could be a possibility and obviously Joe wouldn't say no and I know she will give it up to him when they see each other. This just annoys me. Me, my friend and one of Joe's friends were planning to go see him the weekend of November 12th and stay the weekend there but now I don't know :(
I don't know what to do about the situation it just bugs me. What do you guys think?
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Oh I can't stand those kind of couples...at one point their good and at another their on bad terms. I just don't understand hwo a dysfunction relationship like that works.
Here's the thing if you want to try being more than friends with him than you should tell him. If not than let him be and let him figure this things out with this girl. If you aren't going to tell Joe than I'm afraid its none of your business and that you should stay out of the situation. Its sounds like a lot of drama and you don't want drama. This is between Joe and Maria and I'm sorry to say you have no part in it. If you want to tell him how you feel than by all means do it! Good luck!
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ugh, i am so sorry. you must feel so confused. to me, it sounds as if he still has some feelings for maria, otherwise, he'd tell her to fuck off. maria sounds very obsessive and is obviously trying to get him back. also, it sounds like he really likes you, either as a really good friend or in a romantic way. maybe maria knows this and doesnt want it to happen. she'll do anything to keep him from meeting other girls. theres a certain bond a girl has with the man she lost her virginity to, almost an obsessive hold, where she'll do anything to keep him forever. it can get sickening, and there's nothing you can do. its between the two of them. they need to figure it out for themselves. go ahead and go on with your plans to see him. don't let her manipulate you, as well. if you don't go to see him just because she says she's going, you're letting her win! don't do that! GO SEE HIM. be merry. have fun. cheer him on, and let him know you really care about him. if maria comes and tries to grab hold, ask him to tell her that you two want some alone time. this girl sounds like she could cause some major drama between you and joe if you guys end up together. when you have him alone, tell him that maria worries you. you don't think she has a healthy grasp on reality, and he needs to have a real talk with her. thats all you can do, and nothing more.
take care, and good luck!
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He's an imature pussy. She's an obsessive nutbar.
What else can I say? It's easy to call it all Maria's fault, but it isn't. Joey keeps inviting her back into his life, and he is pretty obviously not very clear with her. If a girl is clingy and you don't want to be with her the last thing in the universe you do is SLEEP WITH HER.
Go ahead and go up and visit your friend - but try to let go of the hope of it turning into something more. Joey isn't really equiped to be 'something more'. Maybe with the distance and the new school, there is a chance of him being ready in a few months, but right now you are just inviting drama into your life by persuing him.
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