|
boyfriend lied
Why do men lie to their girlfriends? Don't they understand how much it hurts us?
He asked me about how many guys I've been with since I met him (I've been with just him since we became exclusive though). I told him the honest truth (although I thought he knew because I dropped plenty of hints as they happened, oh and I should add he asked me this question 5 months after we became exclusive). I was ashamed of my past, but I wanted to be honest with him so I told him how many. He called me a ho pretty much and we almost broke up. When I asked him in turn how many girls he's been with since he met me, he said just you, I don't do s*** like that. This made me feel even more ashamed and worse about myself. Anyways he forgave me, everything's good, and then a few weeks later he tells me a girl that he had a one night stand with is having some legal issues with him, a girl he had sex with AFTER he met me (but according to him before we became exclusive). I was really hurt he lied to me after I was so honest with him (I really poured my heart out to him) but he needed emotional support with the legal stuff (not his fault) so I just put my hurt off to the side. I called him out on his lie, but he just blew it off because he felt his legal stuff was more important. I texted him the next day about that his lying to me really hurt me (not that he had sex with her, just the fact that he lied). He wasn't apologetic, just asked me what I wanted to do, and I told him that the only thing I want from him is honesty, and he said he will be.
I haven't seen him in three months, but I'll be seeing him again once school starts (we live in different states). He told me he hasn't been with anyone this summer, and I really hope that's the truth, but I just don't know anymore. He's already lied to me at least once, how do I know he's not lying to me again now?
Any advice is much appreciated. And I can't just leave him because we've been through so much, and I know he has my back at the end of the day.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
as hard as it may be for you i think that you know you need tp leave him because i think he's messing around with you and secretly you know it too problems will just escalate if you ignore it you say you live in different states so you don't see him all the time so you don't know what he's doing when he's not talking to you girls are naturally more emotionally involved than guys are and they tend to be needy after a while in a relationship but do what your heart tells you follow your instinct
good luck
]
He's definitely manipulating the situation and making you feel bad for things you shouldn't feel bad for. Why do you want a guy who manipulates things and lies to you? I know you care about him but the fact that he lied is a big "no no"! If he was able to freak out about what you said then why can't you? To me it doesn't make any sense...don't let him have the power talk to him! And if he continues to be like that walk away from him and end it! He's not worth your time or aggravation if he's going to be like that. You don't deserve that and should deal with it. So don't!
]
I don't think there is much you can do but wait until you are seeing one another regularly agian and feel out the situation.
He behaved badly. It's tough to know if he understands how wrong and hurtful what he did was when you are only communicating over texts or phone calls. It's possible that he also feels really badly, but doesn't express it the same way you do.
Honestly, my advice would be send him the link to this question. You expressed yourself really well here and explained exactly WHY this was so hurtful that he judged you so harshly and called you names when you were honest with him, and then he was dishonest with you. It might help him recongize the affect this situation has had you, and how you are seeing things. We often talk around things when we talk to someone we care so deeply for, but in your question you are very direct about what you experienced. I think this is sort of the perfect thing to show him to help him understand what has gone on in your mind.
Best of luck.
]
More Questions: |